


I Won't Give Up

by Immortal_Magic_Freak



Series: An Eventful Summer [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Family, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 07:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 36,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2419733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_Magic_Freak/pseuds/Immortal_Magic_Freak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Sequel to: When You Were Young* - Stiles left the Hale house, not knowing what to make of what had happened over the past thirteen days. So now, back at home, he has a lot of thinking to do. But will Derek just leave Stiles alone...or will he try and cheer the young teen up? Show Stiles that he really does mean something to the Pack? Means something to Derek? Will Stiles be happy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Notes

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Note: HEYO! XD So, this is my sequel to When You Were Young
> 
> Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one, apart from the following: Chase, Landon.
> 
> JUST SO YOU KNOW: like everyone else, I think, I have no idea what Stiles' real name is, so I'm going along with what everyone else puts :) I've made his middle name up XD
> 
> Also, I made Derek's dad's name up XD
> 
> The things in bold and italics are the notes Stiles receives. 
> 
> Please, please review XD

**Stiles**

So, Monday 11th June 1012. I had left the Pack back at Derek's house the day before, locking myself in my room, and here I was the next day, sitting in the living room of my own house, with my dad. He hadn't asked what was wrong; he hadn't asked if I wanted to talk about, because he knew I would say no. Instead, he just pulled me in for a hug and sat next to me on the couch, watching random programmes on TV.

I had turned my cell phone off after I was constantly being called and texted by members of the Pack, probably to ask of I was alright. I never answered, just ignored them all. I know I shouldn't have, but with everything that had happened... With everything I had been told by the hallucinations I had had, everything Derek had revealed, everything I had said... Well, I had a lot to think about and I couldn't do that with six werewolves and three other humans around.

I knew dad could tell I was thinking. I always go quiet when I was thinking. He could always tell when I wasn't thinking the happiest of thoughts, which was why I wasn't surprised when a bowl of ice-cream was shoved into my hands.

"Thanks, dad." I whispered, smiling a little.

"No problem, kiddo." dad shrugged, ruffling my hair like he did when I was younger. "Just remember, anytime you need to talk, I'm here."

"I know. I just... Maybe another day."

Dad stayed quiet for a second. I knew he could tell that I was mentally and emotionally exhausted – he could always tell –, just like I knew he could tell that we would be speaking at a later date.

"Sure thing." he nodded. "Hey, Batman's on."

I definitely had the best dad, ever.

* * *

I spent most of the day with dad, doing nothing but sitting there and watching Batman, X-Men, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Friends, Criminal Minds, Harry Potter... All of that, plus ice-cream, real mood lifter. Until I remembered what had dragged it down in the first place.

It was made even worse when, on his day off, dad had been called by one of the deputy's, saying they needed him. Neither of us was very happy with that, but we both knew it couldn't be avoided. So, with a promise that he'd be back for dinner – one that I heard so many times before – dad left, and I was alone.

I started to think about what the hallucinations had said. Everything they said. What I had told Allison and Lydia, what I had let slip to Derek. The fact Derek kissed me... I ended up curling in on myself as I sat on the couch, falling to my side so I was lying down. I hated feeling like this. Like I was worthless. This was why I hated situations that made you think unhappy thoughts! It made you sad! Hence _unhappy_!

I didn't want to cry. I had cried too much over the thirteen and a bit days I had been at Derek's house, I really didn't need any more of that now I was home. So, to keep the waterworks from starting up, again, I closed my eyes, trying to force myself into sleep. I wasn't all that surprised that it worked; what with how many nights I had forced myself to stay awake.

* * *

When I woke up again, it was two in the afternoon. My neck was a little stiff, but it wasn't all that bad...better than waking up sitting against a wall like I had yesterday morning. Sighing, I sat up, rubbing the back of my neck to try and get the form knot out of it.

That was when I heard the letter box go.

Frowning, I stood up and walked to the front door, still rubbing at the back of my neck. Looking down at the floor, I saw that there was a single slip of paper. I picked the slip of paper up, finding nothing on the side that was facing me. But turning it around...

 __ **I won't give up on us,**  
Even if the skies get rough.  
I'm giving you all my love,  
I'm still looking up.

"What?" I breathed.

Staring at the song lyrics written on the paper, it took me a while to figure out whose hand writing it actually was. The thought made me more confused and just a little giddy... I mean, who wouldn't if they received song lyrics, to one of their two happy songs, from the Alpha of the wolf pack in their town and who they still really had a thing for?

The question was: why?

Why did he put a slip of paper, with the words to one of my happy songs, through my letter box? Tilting my head to the side slightly, I trudged up the stairs, and into my room. As soon as I got up there, I made my way towards my desk, so I could place the little note thing in a box – so what, I wanted to keep it. Which was when I found a note attached to my computer. It was the wrong way round, so I couldn't see what the note said, so I reached up and pulled it off. This one was bigger than the one that had been posted through my letter box, and when I found why I couldn't help but smile a little.

 __ **But I won't hesitate**  
No more, no more.  
It cannot wait,  
I'm yours.  
Well, open up your mind and see like me,  
Open up your plans and damn you're free.  
Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love, love.  
Listen to the music of the moment, people dance and sing, we're just one big family  
And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved, loved  
So I won't hesitate  
No more, no more.  
It cannot wait,  
I'm sure.  
There's no need to complicate.  
Our time is short.  
This is our fate,  
I'm yours.

Two Jason Mraz songs, this time 'I'm Yours', both my happy songs, being sent on little notes to me by the Alpha of the Beacon Hills werewolf Pack. And those sections in particular? Well, could you blame me for smiling just a little? Sure, I had turned the colour of a tomato, but we could look past that. I placed the second note on top of the first, placing them both into an empty box for safe keeping.

This was going to be interesting.


	2. Of Smiling and Boxes

I was finding the notes from Derek every day, and not only in my bedroom or the occasional one being slipped through the letter box. They were attached to: my bathroom mirror, my cell, the TV, the stove, the fridge, the couch, the wall... They were _everywhere_. I always got two a day so, by now, on Monday 18th June 2012, I had sixteen notes being kept safe in that empty box on my desk. They consisted of the first two – song lyrics – and:

_**You're the Little Red to my 'Sourwolf'.** _

And:

_**You're amazing, just the way you are.** _

And:

_**Don't ever change. Just stay the same.** _

And:

_**I'll be there for you. Because you're there for me too.** _

And:

_**You're clumsy. You're geeky. You're strange. You belong. You matter. You're strong. You're hyperactive. You're annoying. You're lovable. You're Pack!** _

And that's only a few of them! But the latest one I got from Mr Alpha – so the second one I got on Monday 18th – was:

_**You taught me how to smile again.** _

However, today, with that last note, something changed. I had found the note on my bed, on my pillow when I came back from the store, but this time it wasn't alone. No. Next to it was a single red rose... I blushed slightly at how cliché this all was, as well as thinking of how Derek had found out that roses are my favourite flowers...

After I had put the note away, I had picked the flower up, blushing more than before, not really knowing what to do with it. So I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I went downstairs, grabbed something to put it in and filled it up with water. As soon as I was back upstairs I placed the container of water on my desk, placing the rose in it.

I would admit, this was cheering me up more than I thought it would.

* * *

Even dad noticed my change in mood, but he never questioned it. I could practically hear mom saying: ' _don't look a gift horse in the mouth'._ But even though I was much happier than when I first left the Pack at Derek's, I couldn't go back there yet. Just because I was happier didn't mean I had stopped thinking about everything that had happened. It meant I was coping better than I was and it was helping me from breaking down... _again_ , or having a panic attack.

I found myself looking forward to waking up, because finding those little notes – and the roses – just made me smile. All the time. Without fail. I was quite surprised the dad hadn't found any of them yet, or asked about why there were flowers on my desk, but that was fine with me. I'd rather not have to explain these kinds of things to him, especially when I had no idea how to explain it. I mean, how could I tell my _dad_ that his sixteen-almost-seventeen-year-old son was – apparently – the Mate of the _twenty two year wolf Alpha werewolf_ of Beacon Hills, who was sending said sixteen-almost-seventeen-year-old son little notes and roses to – what? – cheer him up, or something? _Hell_ , I didn't even know why Derek was doing this! So that would definitely make it harder to explain this to dad, if he ever asked. Thank God dad knew when and when not to ask questions.

It was later that day when dad had come back from work. We were sitting at the table, having dinner, just talking... Well, for once, dad was talking more than me. The reason? I was trying to figure out a way to bring up a new topic. But I didn't know how to.

"Stiles. Everything ok, kiddo?" dad asked, drawing my attention to him.

Well, maybe I didn't have to bring it up myself.

"Um... Depends how you look at it really." I started. "I mean, I'm alive aren't I. Sure, I'm still tired and I feel like shit, but after the few days we had at Derek's, that's expected, right? I mean, yeah, I'm the only one that ended up feeling like this, but that was my choice, so I guess that's my bad or you could blame it on the..."

"Stiles!" dad said, raising his voice so I could hear him over my ramblings. "First off, breathe. Second, calmly tell what's going on."

I nodded, breathing deeply for a second, staring intently at the table. I had no idea if he was going to believe me, or freak out or... But I needed to be truthful with him, right? Even if I did lie in the first place.

"I lied." I blurted out. "When I said Isaac wanted me and Scott to stay for the summer. The truth was, all six of the wolves were bitten by this creature and it turned Derek into a seventeen year old and it turned Scott, Isaac, Jackson, Erica and Boyd into seven year olds. We couldn't let anyone see them like that so I thought we should all stay at Derek's, until we got them all back to normal. I stayed up, literally, all night doing research, I got barely any sleep, and I was too busy taking care of the others to worry about myself. Then Derek decided to drop this _bombshell_ on me, and I am not repeating it right now, I freaked out then ended up locking myself in the room I was using. I started to hallucinate and it was mom and it said some pretty...uh, well things mom wouldn't say it, but I definitely think it all the time, then I found what we needed, then passed out for a week. I got Lydia to translate the text that was in _Latin_ of all things, had another little freak out that Derek helped with. We ended up figuring out I had to kill the Filius – that was the name of the creature – so that was fun, but it took ages to convince them to go through with it. Allison, Derek and I caught the damn thing, but then I started hallucinating again, but this time it was more than just mom and I passed out again. When I woke up I was back in the Hale house, but one of the hallucinations was still there, and it kept burning me when I was trying to boil and set fire to the Filius, but I was the only who knew, and no it left no marks. Then the wolves passed out, turned back to normal and then I got confused. So I came home."

I stopped for a moment, letting what I had just said sink in.

"Oh, and did I mention I basically played mom to the Betas, as well as breaking down more times than I would care to admit in those thirteen days?" I added.

Yeah, that would take the breath out of you... Dad sat there, wide eyed and mouth agape, not knowing where to start. To be honest, I wouldn't blame him.

* * *

Dad ended up getting me to go through it all, step by step, from the moment they got bit to the moment I left for home – ever since he found out about the Pack, neither of us wanted there to be any more secrets. He even made me tell him about the whole Mate-and-kissing-and-slight-spooning situation, and _man_ was that uncomfortable and embarrassing. He made me tell him everything the hallucinations had told me and who I saw when it had been said. To say he was surprised was a _massive_ understatement. He didn't know what to say. So we sat there in silence.

After a few minutes, dad stood up and walked over to the armchair he normally sat in. He moved it out the way, before crouching down on the ground and removing a floorboard, taking out a box. Now I was confused. I never knew about that...ever. Dad placed the floorboard back in place, before picking the box up and pushing the armchair back into place, moving to sit next to me again. Dad looked down at the box, smiling a little, before he handed it over to me. On the top of the box, in very familiar writing, was my name. Not my self-appointed nickname, but my real full name – _Genim Alexander Stilinski_. I couldn't stop a lump forming in my throat. How could I not recognise my mom's handwriting?! I looked up at dad, frowning slightly.

"She told me that I would know when to give it to you." dad explained. "Now seems like the right time. So, look through this box, and afterwards you can tell me if you still believe those monster induced illusions."

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak right now.

"Do you want me to leave?" dad asked.

I shook my head, violently. This was not something I could do alone.

"Ok. I'll be right here, kiddo." he told me.

Now I just had to work up the courage to actually open the box.


	3. The Letter

_Genim,_

_Well baby, if you're reading this then...then I guess I didn't make it. But I wanted you to know that I am so,_ so _proud of you._

 _I don't know how old you will be when your dad gives this to you but, no matter what age you are right now, you are still_ my baby _. Still mommy's_ perfect _little man. I know you don't go by Genim anymore, but to me that is who you are, and what you will always be called._

 _I wish I could still be there, with you and your dad, so I could see for myself how you would turn out. Of course I have an idea already: smart; talkative, no surprise there; outgoing; protective; a perfect gentleman, of course... You are_ everything _your dad and I ever wanted to be. Even if you've made a few mistakes, I don't care. Everyone makes mistakes, baby, and I'm sure many of the ones you blame yourself for aren't even your fault. Just like your daddy with that one._

 _I don't want you blaming yourself for what happened to me, baby. I know you will. It's just one of those things, and you were so brave through it all. It scared me a little seeing how grown up you were, at only_ eight _! Seeing you every day, baby, you and your dad...that made me keep fighting. You two were – and are –_ the greatest _things that have ever happened to me and I don't want you blaming yourself for something out of control, baby._

 _I_ love _you; you_ are _important; you_ are _perfect; you_ matter _; you_ deserve _to be there with your dad; you_ are _worth something... I know you will look after your daddy for me...just like I know you will make me proud, baby._

 _I miss you so much, Genim. I wish I could just give you a_ big _hug. You really are mommy's_ perfect _little man..._

 _I love you so,_ so _much, baby!_

Lots _of love,_ and _hugs,_ and _kisses,_

_Mommy xx_

That was the first thing I found when I finally worked up the courage to open the box dad had passed me. A letter, from my mom, was resting on top of everything else. My throat started to ache and my eyes started to burn, as I tried so hard to not start crying. And let me tell you, it was _hard_! Especially when I started to look through the rest of the box.

Pictures of every birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving, beach trip, school play, drawings I made for her and dad... Sea shells, the blanket I had as a baby, cards she and dad gave to me for different occasions... And pictures mom had painted. I always loved watching mom paint when I was a kid, she ever taught me how to paint, even when she was ill... Painting was one of her favourite pastimes and I could see why. It was relaxing and made you forget the world around you, as you let the paint draw you in. Sure, I preferred the drawing side of art compared to painting, but every now and then I did like to break out my paints and a canvas...

I looked up at dad who, I found, was in the same state as me: trying not to cry. I set the box down carefully on the other side of me, placing the letter back on top of everything in it, before hugging dad.

"Thank you." I mumbled.

* * *

For the rest of the day, I just sat there looking through the box, while dad and I watched more of the videos taking from when I was a kid. There was ones of when we went to the beach, of mom's birthdays, of dad's birthdays, my birthdays, Christmas', Thanksgivings, etc. It was nice to be able to just sit there and laugh at everything we watched...especially if it was how dad looked all those years back. Or me, for that matter. Never at mom though, mom always looked beautiful.

"You know, it took me two years to work up the courage to ask your mom to marry me." dad said, as we watched the video of Christmas 2003.

"Really?" I asked.

Dad rarely ever talked about mom, but sometimes he would let little things slip into the conversation. I liked that. I liked learning new things about my mom. I always loved that.

"Yeah. We had been together for a year, and I knew she was the one. But I wanted to wait a little longer, sine a year wasn't long enough." dad explained, smiling a little. "Two years later, we were still together, I decided I had to ask her. I had the ring and everything. But I was just so scared. Then, two years after that day, on Christmas, I asked your mom to marry me."

Yeah, that sounded like dad... Loads of people thought that, because he was the Sherriff, nothing scared him; that he was some big, tough guy. They were wrong. My dad could get scared. About lots of things. Most recently he had gotten even _more_ scared for my safety, ever since he found out about werewolves and stuff. He was scared of what would happen if he made one wrong move in a case. And he used to be scared of proposing to my mom. That was dad for you.

"Did she do that thing where she said no, when really she was kidding?" I asked, smiling a little myself.

"Of course she did." dad chuckled. "Said she thought I was up to something and she wanted to see how I would react if she said no. You're a lot like her, you know. Secretive and damn good at planning things out."

"Well, duh!"

Dad just shook his head, still smiling. This was the most I had seen him smiling when talking about mom. It was nice. _Really_ nice.

"She was right you know." dad sighed.

"What?" I wondered.

"Your mom. What she wrote in that letter. She was right. About everything."

"Dad, I..."

"I mean it, Genim. And she isn't the only one that thinks you should stop blaming yourself. She's not the only one that's proud of you. And she's not the only one that loves you. You are the best son I could ever have asked for and more."

My eyes went a little wide as dad used my first name. He hadn't called me that since I was six, on the tape he recorded of me on the swings, after I was diagnosed with ADHD. To be honest, I had kind of missed him calling me Genim...

"And I couldn't have asked for a more amazing dad. Because the one I've got? Yeah, he's _really_ hard to beat." I replied. "And you know what? I love him, too."


	4. You're My Sweetheart

For the rest of the week I would always find myself listening to dad talking about mom. This week had been the most I had heard dad talking about mom since she died when I was ten... It felt nice, that dad felt like he could finally talk about her with me, even though it hurt. I found out things I never knew – or noticed – before, like: how mom's full name was Claudia Joanna-Beth Stilinski; she had a fascination with all things to do with Superheroes like me; she always wanted to be an art teacher. All the little things that basically made up my mom that I didn't know or noticed. Which was only a handful of things, since I made sure I knew as much about my mom as possible, so I felt just a little bit closer to her. It was, oddly, comforting.

I kept getting the notes and roses from Derek. Every day, saying something different. I still wondered why he was doing it though. Sure, it was nice, don't get me wrong. But, why? It was in my nature to question everything, I had to know why. Probably why I was such a good researcher – sometimes. But it bugged me. And it wasn't like I could ask him! I had seen him or the Pack since I left Derek's on the 10th, and I still wasn't all that ready. I mean, I revealed a lot during those thirteen days and I knew none of them had forgotten it. Though, I was surprised that none of them had actually tried to sneak my window – if you don't count Derek sneaking in with the notes and roses.

* * *

I woke up on Monday 25th, rubbing my eyes as I slowly sat up in bed. I found another rose on my pillow and, smiling, I picked it up and put it in the container with the others, Yawning, I then dragged myself into the bathroom, sleepily going about my morning routine. As I reached towards my toothbrush, I found a note from Derek taped to the mirror:

_**I can't help falling in love with you.** _

Grinning, I picked up my toothbrush, wetting it before putting toothpaste on it and putting it in my mouth. It was as I was brushing my teeth that I saw it. Just hanging there. Around my neck. The pendant was hanging on a stainless steel chain and a small slither of the same metal was shown around the outside of the pendant. The pendant it's self was circular and – apart from the small amount of stainless steel bordering it – was a light, almost cloudy, blue with a black silhouette of a wolf sitting on a ledge, howling. My hand had stilled from where it had been moving the toothbrush back and forth and my eyes were now slightly wider than they were before. I raised my left hand, touching the pendant, brushing my thumb over the silhouette of the wolf.

Well, that was definitely not expected...

* * *

I didn't know what to do with my day, since dad was at work. I didn't feel like going out, but I needed to do something. That was when something in the corner of my room caught my eye. Mom used to play guitar when she was alive, and she had been teach me from when I was three, even when she was ill. Every day she would teach me something new. Mom and dad even got me my own guitar for my tenth birthday, and it was the same one that was sitting in the corner of my room.

I hadn't played it since the Christmas holidays, but I always did love being able to play it. It reminded me of all the fun I had learning it. Music was one of the things that I never got distracted from, I only stopped when I wanted to. But then I was keeping my brain and hand occupied – and my mouth, since I would always sing when I played...

"Couldn't hurt." I shrugged, jumping off of my desk chair and grabbing the case.

I placed the case down, gently on my bed, sitting with my back against the pillows and headboard. Unzipping the case, I couldn't help but remember when I first got it.

_**FLASHBACK – Friday 26** _ _**th** _ _**August 2005, Stiles' POV** _

_"WOOOHOOO!" I yelled, running down the stairs._

_I hadn't bothered to get dressed I was too excited! Come on, you would be too! I kept running, even when I hit the floor, trying to find mommy and daddy. I had already checked their room, and neither was in there, so the only logical place they could be was downstairs. I ran into the kitchen first, but neither of them was in there. So there was only one place they could be._

_Grinning, I flew into the living room. It took me a moment to register that I was no longer running or on the floor._

" _Happy Birthday, Genim!" mommy and daddy laughed._

_Mommy had been the one to pick me up, and she hugged me really tightly, even though she was still ill. I liked mommy's hugs – they were better than daddy's, but shhh, I didn't say that!_

" _Can we have cake now? Can I open presents?" I asked. "Can we go outside? Are Scott and Melissa coming round later? I wanna show Scott something in one of the Batman comics I have upstairs! I wonder if Scott has it... Can we have cake now?"_

" _I think someone needs their Adderall." daddy chuckled. "Come on, buddy."_

_Mommy put me back down on the ground and I followed daddy into the kitchen. I didn't liked taking my meds, but mommy and daddy told me I had to. So my head wouldn't go all funny. I didn't like it when my head was funny. Daddy handed me one of the tablets from the funny little pot, with a glass of apple juice and some toast – when did he make toast? Shrugging slightly, I placed the tablet in my mouth before swallowing it with some apple juice. Daddy stood there until I ate my toast...he always said I had to eat with my tablets, I don't know why though._

_It was only when the toast and apple juice was gone that we went back into the living room. I would have to wait for thirty minutes until it worked properly, but it helped right from the start._

" _Come on, baby," mommy smiled, as I sat down next to her on the couch. "Open this. It's from me and daddy."_

_Mommy and daddy moved a box in front of me. It was a big box. A really big box. And I mean big as in tall. Tall like daddy, but not as tall as daddy. I looked from mommy to daddy before standing up on the couch and ripping the multicoloured 'Happy Birthday' paper off of it. Daddy helped me open the box then and, when I looked inside, I couldn't help 'eep'._

" _You got me a guitar!" I beamed. "My very own guitar!"_

" _You like it, little man?" daddy asked, smiling._

_I threw myself at both of them, hugging them both tightly._

" _Thank you, thank you, thank you." I repeated, over and over._

_**END FLASHBACK – back to Monday 25** _ _**th** _ _**June 2012** _

I played my guitar a lot that day, showing dad what mom had taught me. I had even shown Scott. I had really only played it that day and the next, since two days after my birthday – August 28th 2005 – mom died. It had been hard to even look at the guitar for a while after that. Over Christmas was the first time in a long time that I had finally been able to pick my acoustic guitar up and play it. Thank God I knew how to tune it...

I took my natural coloured acoustic guitar out of its case, after I had fully unzipped it. I smiled at how it was still in perfect condition, just like it always had been. I still had the card that was put in the case when I first got it when I was ten... I couldn't find it in me to throw it away.

After tuning it, I pulled the strap over my head, grabbing the black plectrum – pick – from one of the pockets in the case. It was the only way I could make sure I didn't lose it. I even had my capo in the same pocket so I didn't lose that... I sat crossed legged, with the dip in the guitar's body resting on my right leg, my right hand holding the curved point of the plectrum over the strings while my left hand was at the guitar's neck. The first song that came to mind was Ho Hey by The Lumineers. It was a good song, one of my favourites – though none could beat I won't Give up...

" _I've been trying to do it right_  
I've been living a lonely life  
I've been sleeping here instead  
I've been sleeping in my bed,  
Sleeping in my bed"

I closed my eyes as I started to sing, the chord pattern ingrained in my muscle memory, so I knew I would go to the right stings and chord shape.

" _So show me family_  
All the blood that I will bleed  
I dunno where I belong  
I dunno where I went wrong,  
But I can write a song"

The thing was, I did actually write my own songs. Mainly about my friends or family, but I never mentioned their names. I had written a song about every member of the Pack, including Jackson and Derek.

" _I belong with you, you belong with me_  
You're my sweetheart  
I belong with you, you belong with me  
You're my sweet"

I wondered if my mom would like this song. If she would have sung this with me, and sang the harmonies that I had worked out for it – yes, I could work out harmonies...

" _I don't think you're right for him_  
Think of what it might have been if you  
Took a bus to Chinatown  
I'd be standing on canal, and bowery  
And she'd be standing next to me"

I loved the extended notes in this song, and how they were sang in the song. I always loved the way some lyrics were changed when sang.

" _I belong with you, you belong with me_  
You're my sweetheart  
I belong with you, you belong with me  
You're my sweetheart"

The chorus of songs was always the catchiest bit. Well, that was the whole point, but still. I always loved the chorus'.

" _And love, we need it now_  
Let's hope for some  
Cause oh, we're bleeding out"

I felt the same about middle eight's/brides as I did chorus'. I liked how the tune changed, yet still fit in with the song. How the song still flowed.

" _I belong with you, you belong with me_  
You're my sweetheart  
I belong with you, you belong with me  
You're my sweet."

I couldn't help but take my left hand off of the neck of the guitar and bring it up to the pendant around my neck.


	5. Reasons Why

Dad noticed the pendant around my neck. He had asked about it a couple of times... But I couldn't actually tell him. All I did was feel the heat flood my face and bring my hand up to hold it.

Everything just continued as normal then, nothing extra turning up in my room with the usual two notes and one rose. But I was happy with that. I was fine with what I was getting, and even that was too much already. I mean, Derek didn't have to do this... He really, _really_ didn't. Hell, this wasn't even like Derek! The Derek I knew was a Sourwolf not...not whatever he was while doing this.

And then, a week from the Monday when I got the pendant – so on the 2nd July 1012 –, I walked into my room in the evening to find something lying on my bed, with the second note of the day on top of it.

"You leave for a second to go grab a soda, only to come back and find out a Sourwolf has been here." I muttered to myself, smiling as I set the can down my bedside table.

I sat down on my bed, leaning back against the headboard and pillows, dragging the book and note onto my lap. The first thing I did was lift the not up, reading the neat handwriting of my favourite Sourwolf.

_**10 Things I Hate About You...** _

Ok, well... Yeah, that... Right, what? That wasn't keeping within the theme of what the other notes had been about. I looked up, blinking a couple of times, frowning. I should have guessed that something like this would have eventually happened, right? But hey, I should at least be polite and read what he had written.

_**10 Things I Hate About You...** _

_**1\. When you cry – I hate seeing you sad** _

_**2\. When you say you don't matter/worthless** _

_**3\. That you think that everyone would be better off if you just left** _

_**4\. That you don't know how much we care** _

_**5\. That you blame yourself for things that aren't your fault – yeah, I'm a hypocrite, shut up** _

_**6\. When you doubt yourself** _

_**7\. When you're quiet for a reason that you won't explain** _

_**8\. That you think you can't do anything** _

_**9\. That you don't see you are perfect** _

_**10\. That you think I don't love you...** _

Ok, so maybe I was wrong.

Just like all of the other times, I had started smiling. It was something that I did subconsciously now, I never realised until I had stopped reading the notes. It wasn't my fault; you would be the same if you had been repeatedly getting these notes for the past three weeks! I placed the note in the box – I had now moved the box onto the table beside my bed, just to make things easier for me – before turning to the book that was still sitting in my lap.

It was A5 sized, but was thick. On the front cover it read:

_**100 Things I Love About** _ **You** _**! :)** _

Huh... Where there really one hundred things someone could – apparently – love about me? _Really_?! It had to be some kind of joke, right? There couldn't possibly be one hundred things someone _loved_ about _me_. Could there? I opened the book. On each page, there was a different reason – one reason for every page. All of the pages had a different background to them, but all of them fit. But I was more focused on what Derek had written...

_**100 Things I Love About** _ **You! _:)_**

_1\. Your eyes_

_2\. Your smile_

_3\. Your voice_

_4\. The way your ears stick out_

_5\. How you always leave your window open for us, no matter how much you complain_

_6\. How you don't take anyone's shit_

_7\. How you take care of people and expect nothing in return (that is now changing)_

_8\. You bite your pen when you're working something out and/or reading_

_9\. Your humour_

_10\. Your sarcasm_

_11\. Your loyal_

_12\. Your kind_

_13\. You always cheer me up_

_14\. Your compassion_

_15\. Your intelligence_

_16\. Your idiotic-ness_

_17\. Your hyper-ness_

_18\. You're understanding_

_19\. Your forgiving_

_20\. Your thoughtful_

_21\. You care_

_22\. I can trust you_

_23\. Your courage_

_24\. Your stubbornness_

_25\. You're accepting_

_26\. You're perfect_

_27\. You're imperfect_

_28\. You're a geek_

_29\. You're always there_

_30\. You're unique_

_31\. You're talented_

_32\. Your laugh_

_33\. How you bite your lip when you're embarrassed_

_34\. How you rub your neck when you feel awkward/embarrassed_

_35\. How you tilt your head when you're confused_

_36\. How you constantly challenge everything_

_37\. You're strange (in a good way)_

_38\. You're a great listener_

_39\. You act like a kid (I know it's your ADHD)_

_40\. You stand up for your friends and family_

_41\. How cute/adorable you are when you're falling asleep_

_42\. You accept us for who we are_

_43\. You always cheer us up_

_44\. You worry so much about people you care about_

_45\. You always understand_

_46\. Your flaws_

_47\. You give me strength_

_48\. When you sing when you think no one's around (I know you do, I watched – and heard – you during over the Christmas holidays...)_

_49\. When you dance when you think no one's around (I know you do, I watched – and heard – you during over the Christmas holidays...)_

_50\. When you play guitar when you think no one's around (I know you do, I watched – and heard – you during over the Christmas holidays...)_

_51\. The way you still watch over old home videos – just like me_

_52\. You're hardworking_

_53\. Your snarky_

_54\. The way you subconsciously give us all nicknames_

_55\. Your imagination_

_56\. You're always ready to help_

_57\. Your ADHD (even though you hate it)_

_58\. The way you walk_

_59\. way you talk a mile a minute_

_60\. How you always know what to do, no matter what mood someone's in_

_61\. How sensitive you can be_

_62\. How strong you are (maybe not physically but definitely mentally and emotionally)_

_63\. You never give up, even when times get hard_

_64\. How special you are_

_65\. How much we need you_

_66\. How it's hard to not love you_

_67\. You mean everything to us – to me_

_68\. Your name (you're real one, yes I know it, as well as the nickname you gave yourself)_

_69\. You're amazing_

_70\. You are Batman, never Robin_

_71\. Just how important you've become to us_

_72\. You're considerate_

_73\. You say it how it is_

_74\. You're annoying_

_75\. How you can't throw away anything that reminds you of the past (yes, I mean Wolfy)_

_76\. You know everything about everyone you care about_

_77\. You're determined_

_78\. How you can become so shy_

_79\. When you're embarrassed_

_80\. When you blush_

_81\. When you stutter_

_82\. When you read_

_83\. When you start to sway slightly when sitting down_

_84\. When you write_

_85\. When you complain about school_

_86\. When you play lacrosse_

_87\. When you fiddle with the hem of your t-shirt_

_88\. You look after your dad_

_89\. You're passionate_

_90\. You protect the Pack_

_91\. You're worth a lot_

_92\. You matter so much_

_93\. You're witty_

_94\. You're honest_

_95\. You make us all want to be better_

_96\. You encourage us_

_97\. You don't judge us when we talk to you_

_98\. You give us advice, even if we don't ask for it_

_99\. You're an amazing: son; friend; surrogate brother; Pack member; person_

_100\. I love you just because you're_ _ **YOU!** _

_I would have mentioned your scent and how you smell like Pack, like home, but you would have called me a creepy wolf... But it's all true. You are Pack. To quote Isaac, you are 'Pack Mom' :)_

_There are also so many more I could have mentioned, but I didn't have enough room..._

Right so, apparently I was wrong... Apparently there were one hundred reasons why someone would...love me. And, apparently, there were 'many more' reasons... _And_ , apparently, I was Pack _mom_! Why did it have to be mom?!

Right, not the point! I read each page again, carefully. Reasons forty eight, forty nine and fifty had caught me off guard. No one, accept my mom and dad, knew about that... I never thought that someone would have seen/heard me... I should have realised since, hello, werewolves! To be honest, I was ok with Derek knowing. I was fine with him knowing this about me. And if I just happened to keep reading through the book and then sleep with it under my pillow that night then, well, no one was around to accuse me of it.

And... Wait! Did Derek say he _knew_ my _real_ name?! What?!


	6. Monday, 9th July 2012

Derek knew my name. My _real_ name. No one knew my real name. Apart from me, my dad and my mom. Scott and Melissa used to, but they had gotten so used to calling me 'Stiles' that they had forgotten my names was actually 'Genim'. How did Derek even find out?! There was no way that he could have found out! Was there? I mean, dad hadn't called me Genim in years until the day he gave me the box from my mom... So unless Derek was here when dad gave me the box... I ended up forgetting all about it though – damn ADHD –, so I was actually able to get some sleep that night/early hours of the morning. Thank God for summer! And you know, I honest to God thought that Derek had ran out of things to say in those little notes of his, but I was wrong. Every day I would always find two notes and a rose...

I ended up doing a bit of research on the Thursday...and it may or may not have been about mates... Of course, all the stuff I came across was on FanFiction or some very unhelpful websites about wolves. On one website I found this: 'Wolves mate for life, which means, once they choose a mate, they stay with that mate for the rest of their life. Normally only the alpha pair would mate, but on rare occasions, subordinates do mate with other wolves as well. Wolves, who decide to mate, will go through what is called a 'courting period.' This will normally last for a day before the pair actually mate. Mating/breeding season for wolves usually occurs within the time period of late winter and early spring. Breeding season for wolves takes place at any time in the winter months of January to April, but usually in February or March. The mother is pregnant for 9 weeks. Then she gives birth.' Somehow...I didn't think that would help me. But that didn't mean I didn't give up. I was a researcher for a reason.

I let it go in the end, since everything I found either wasn't helpful or was really disturbing. So I just let it go. I was alright with how things were at the moment. And then came Monday 9th July.

* * *

So it was Monday 9th July 2012. The morning started off normal – wake up, find the rose, find the first note, get dressed. You know, normal. I was expecting this to be like every other day, wasting away the hours alone until dad got back from the station. Just sitting there, watching a movie on my laptop. I didn't even realise I fell asleep until I woke up that afternoon, to the sound of the credits of The Lion King – shut up, I like it – playing. Why did I wake up, I hear you cry? Well that was simple. _Something_ had been dropped onto my bed. It was a box. It wasn't that large a box, a box none the less. It looked like the kind of box I gave to my mom for her birthday when I was five, when I gave her this charm bracelet she'd been looking at in the mall for over a year. Hesitantly, I took the box, picking it up and bringing it closer to me. The box was plain black, and that strong kind of cardboard stuff. I don't know why, but I glanced around my room before slowly taking the lid off of the box.

I took out the one thing that was lying in the bottom of the box, and I couldn't help but let my eyes go just a little wide. In my hand was a thick – ish – black leather band with a metal clasp and two metal bars an equal distance away from a metal circle – that just came off of the band – with a black triskele – exactly like the one Derek had as a tattoo – engraved into it. Dragging my bottom lip between my teeth, I slipped the leather band onto my left wrist, so the triskele was facing the same way as the back of my hand, clipping the metal clasp into place. I ran my right thumb over it, tracing the pattern. I looked away from it, already feeling that warm fuzzy feeling rising... And then I saw the note. It was placed in the lid of the box, which was why I didn't see it until now. It was placed in the lid with the blank side facing me. As I took the piece of paper out I could feel my heart rate rising. Gingerly, I flipped it over, coming face to face with the familiar, neat handwriting of Derek.

_**I LOVE YOU, Genim Alexander Stilinski!** _

Ok, so maybe he did know my real name... I stared at those six words, eyes and mouth wide, blinking slowly. My head was spinning slightly, and that warm fuzzy feeling was still growing. I wasn't even thinking about what had happened during those almost-two-weeks at Derek's. All I was thinking about was the six words that I couldn't stop staring at. I barely even noticed someone climbing through my bedroom window until I heard the soft thud of feet hitting the grey carpet. I didn't even have to look up to know who it was. But I didn't do anything until the note was in the pot I had been keeping every single one of them in and had placed the box I had received moments earlier on my bedside table, next to the pot.

Slowly, I slipped off of my bed, walking towards my window. I didn't look up until I was standing in front of the Fuzzywolf. I would admit, I preferred him like this, compared to the younger version of him. I mean, while the seventeen year old Derek was nice, twenty two year old Derek was _way_ better. He was nervous, I could tell he was. It may not have shown in his expression, but during those thirteen days I had seen a new side of Derek, and could now see the difference between what he felt – go me! I felt the left corner of my mouth tilt up slightly into a small smile as I looked at him. As I took another step closer to him, I raised my right hand to his head as I pressed my lips to his. I felt Derek relax. It wasn't like when he kissed me in the woods. It wasn't just one sided and it wasn't desperate. It wasn't because Derek was trying to convince me of something this time. It wasn't rushed or deep, just a simple press of lips against lips. But it still left me breathless when I actually pulled away. I didn't notice how both of my arms had wrapped around Derek's neck, my right hand curling into the – surprisingly soft – hair of the Alpha, or how Derek had somehow wormed his arms around my waist. We both stood there, just looking at each other. And I noticed then just how deep and faded a forest green his eyes were... It was only a few seconds before Derek leant in again.


	7. Crocotta

When I woke the next morning, I sighed. Of course it would all be a dream, that was just the kind of luck I had. I couldn't even begin to count how many times over the four weeks Derek had been doing all of this that I wanted to wake up, and for something like last night to happen. But why would that happen?

Sighing again, I lifted up my left hand and dragged it down my face, rubbing my eyes. Which was when I felt it. The cool leather and metal against my skin. Slowly, I opened my eyes, finding the triskele bracelet-thing still on my left wrist. Surely if last night was a dream this wouldn't be here... So that meant...

"Do you always think so much when you first wake up?" Derek asked, voice lower from lack of use.

Ok, wow, not a dream. Totally one hundred per cent, absolutely, positively, _actually real_! Oh my _fucking_ God! Now, my brain just had to decide whether it was going to freak out or celebrate, though it could do both since I hadn't had my Adderall yet. Adderall, yeah, that would be a good idea wouldn't it.

Derek shifted slightly, his arms tightening around me, drawing me closer. I smiled softly. You wouldn't think that the big, bad, broody, frowny, Sourwolf of an Alpha could be such a lovable Snuggle-wolf. Not that anyone would have known if it wasn't for me.

"Stiles?" came a sleepy murmur.

"Hey, Fuzzywolf." I grinned – and so the weirdness began. "Nice of you to... Hey, you know, I think I want pancakes, I think I... Oh, is that a bird on my windowsill or a... Huh, look, my laptop..."

"Stiles, what the hell?" Derek groaned. "Have you taken any Adderall yet?"

"Adderall? Adderall. Add-er- _all_... Ha! That's a funny word, don't you think it's a funny word, I think it's a funny word, don't... Hey, where you going?"

Derek had rolled out of my bed and made his way to my door. He turned back to look at me after my question was asked. I don't even know why I asked it to be honest, I mean... God, I hated my brain without the affect of Adderall. Seriously, not kidding, not fun!

"You. Stay here." he said before disappear out of my door.

But I didn't. Well, I didn't stay in my _bed_ , but I didn't technically leave my room. I only went into the bathroom. So, if you think about it, I _did_ stay there.

* * *

Derek was back in my room when I walked out of the bathroom. He handed me a glass of water and 10mg of Adderall XR. I took them from him without question, swallowing the tablets with a gulp of ice cold water. It would take 30 minutes to kick in, but I normally became a whole lot more coherent and could concentrate a little better after a couple of minutes.

"Better?" Derek asked, tiredly.

I nodded, placing the glass down on my desk. Ever so slowly, what I had started saying before replayed through my head. Why couldn't I ramble on about something normal? Why did it have to be about pancakes, birds and my laptop? I blushed, letting my gaze drop to my bedroom floor. Derek – fucking wolfy powers – could smell my embarrassment, stepped closer, lifting my head up by placing a finger under my chin and making me look up. I smiled sheepishly, looking into the faded forest green eyes in front of me. I bit my lip and raised my right hand to rub at the back of my neck, completely forgetting number thirty three and thirty four on Derek's list that he gave me, in the form of a book. Though, I did note the small smile that seemed to be plastered – more like super-glued – to his face. It would have been cute – and very _hot_ – if I didn't have hundreds of questions running around my head or was nervous as hell.

It was times like these – when I was face to face with the Alpha – that I was glad I actually wore pyjamas... It could have gotten so awkward if it was anything else! Trying to keep quiet made my skin crawl; made me feel sick and itchy. I lifted my right hand to scratch at the back of my neck and the top of my back, while my left did the same to my right forearm.

"Stiles?" Derek asked, a tone I had never heard until this summer apparent now.

I didn't answer, just continued to pull at the skin with my nails, trying in vain to get rid of the itch. It only took a second for the scratch to be _just_ in my forearm, that chosen spot becoming very red, very fast. But it seemed that no matter what I did to it – left it, scratched it, pressed my palm/fist to it – it just got _worse_! Before today, the last time was sixth grade, my first day of Junior High. It hadn't happened since then! The silence – or nerves – made that damn itchy feeling come back. So that was why I tried to avoid the silence at all times. Unless I wanted it to be silent. Sometimes I liked the silence. But it had to be one of those days. Right now, a combination of nerves and the silence just made it all the more worse.

I didn't know I broke the skin of my forearm until it started to sting and a hand had grabbed my wrist. My head snapped up quickly, coming face to face with Derek. A frowning Derek. A _worried_ – was that worried or concerned? Wait they're the same thing aren't they? – Derek. But none of that got rid of the nerves or the pain from the thirteen days that was still bubbling away inside of me, gnawing at my very flesh! Dramatic? Yes. True? _Fuck yeah_!

"What's going on?" Derek questioned, again.

"During a silence or when I'm nervous, it feels like my skin is on fire." I explained, shortly. "You should let go know before it gets to the stage of me wanting to claw my eyes out."

But he didn't. Of course he didn't, why would he? You think he would, if I was his 'Mate'. But no. Just kept hold of it, preventing me from getting any relief from the burning pain!

"Derek, just let go!" I shouted, my voice raising an octave – man, was I glad dad was at work right now.

"No." he replied, simply, keeping his grip easily.

"Dude! Come on, you... _Eugh_! You don't know what it's like! Just let the fuck go, man!"

"No."

Oh, ADHD, thou art a heartless bitch. Like, seriously, I swear if I was just _normal_ , then I would at least be able to have some sort of composure right about now. But _no_! Fate decided to hand me the short end of the stick. Making me abnormal in a way that pretty much everyone I knew hated, no matter what a small handful of them said.

* * *

Derek continued to keep a hold of my wrist, not letting go. It was after five minutes – felt like five _hours_ – that my cell phone rang – when did I turn _that_ back on? Thank God it was on the same side as my free hand.

"Hello?" I sighed down the receiver, shifting uncomfortably.

" _Hey, dude! How are you?"_ Scott asked, sounding overly cherry.

"Like I'm about to explode from the intense and uncomfortable feeling spreading across my skin."

" _Derek stopped you from scratching, huh?"_

"Got it in one. Anyway, you need something?"

" _Yeah... Sorry to do this to you, bro, but we have a situation in the woods."_

"And that would be?"

" _Well, it's like this cross between a hyena and a lio..._

"A Crocotta. You've got to be kidding!"

" _What?"_

"I'll explain when we're there. Just...don't do anything yet."

Looks like the 'Mate' thing was going to have to be put on hold again.

* * *

We took my Jeep to Derek's house, since Derek had ran to mine the night before. Which really wasn't a surprise. Everyone else was already there and waiting by the time I pulled up to the house, all of them just standing around.

As soon as I was close to any of them, I was pulled into hug after hug after hug. Jackson and Isaac were the last two, but their hugs lasted longer. Isaac I expected that from, but from Jackson...well, that was a new occurrence. Not that I minded this nicer side of Jackson, I mean I preferred it!

"It's a Crocotta, half hyena and half lioness. It's a wild animal that lives in India and Ethiopia, said to have parts of both its parents. It is also said to have its mouth open perpetually, showing off its one tooth, which stretches the entire length of his mouth. And another weird feature he has is the backbone – the stuff sticks right outside of his body, and is inflexible. It's said that the voice of the Crocotta is like a man howling at the moon or, in simpler terms, a werewolf howling at the moon." I explained, sighing deeply. "Though, Pliny, the Roman naturalist, described it as being the 'an animal which looks as though it had been produced by the coupling of the wolf and the dog, for it can break anything with its teeth, and instantly on swallowing it digest it with the stomach...' It's said to be a deadly enemy of men and dogs, and it simulates human speech so that it can call men by their names and draw them outside, where it will tear him to pieces. It also imitates a person being sick, to attract dogs so that it can attack them."

"How do you know this?" Boyd asked, neutral as ever.

"Found it in one of the books while looking for the Filius. Looked interesting, so I saved the page and read it while waiting for the translations."

They all nodded, a few of them glancing over towards the forest surrounding the house.

"How do we kill it?" Erica asked, leaning into Boyd's side.

"However, I guess." I shrugged. "Don't think it matters."

"Great, then we can get this over and done with, ASAP."

"Sounds good to me."

The sooner this was over, the better.


	8. Quite Brilliant

We had been walking through the forest around the Hale house for, about, ten minutes when we came across the Crocotta. To be honest, I wasn't in the mood for this supernatural crap. I was still exhausted from the Filius incident. But it's not like I could just leave them all to do it by themselves. Besides, hitting something sounded _great_ right now.

As we walked, I fell into step beside Jackson, the rest of the Pack ahead of us. He wasn't acting like he used to before the Filius, which was a little scary yet wildly accepted. Jackson seemed... _happier_ , like know he _knew_ that people actually wanted him around, that he was accepted. So much was shown by the way he _smiled at me_!

"Sorry I missed your birthday." I told him, sheepishly.

His birthday was June 15th, it was his seventeenth... And because I was avoiding everything and everyone I had missed it. Guilt was really not a good thing.

"It's fine." Jackson replied, shrugging. "I'm cool with it."

"What?!" I shrieked. "No, not cool! No! After we've dealt with this, I'm going to fix it!"

"Stiles, you don't have..."

"Yes, yes I do. It's one thing that I missed it, but it's another thing entirely that you think it's fine... No, doing it. You can't stop me."

" _Fighting will only make it worse, Jackson!"_ Scott called back.

Jackson raised an eyebrow as I nodded, confirming what my best friend had said. It was true though, anyone who battled my opinion would be met full force by Stubborn Stiles. If I was determined enough to finish something, then I would. Especially if it was a promise I made to someone.

"Seriously, this thing will die and then we will throw a – belated – party for you." I told him. "Nor arguments."

"Yes, _mom_." Jackson sighed, rolling his eyes.

Seriously? Mom? Again?! Why did I have to be _mom_?!

* * *

The Crocotta? Yeah, turned out it was being controlled. Didn't expect that. Didn't think that could happen... Apparently it could. So, as well as the Crocotta, we had two stupid humans to deal with too! Like seriously, these people looked like the fuck abouts that sat at the back of class, not doing any of the work and flunking every class they're in. Yeah, I could totally see that. I sighed, standing back as everyone but Danny, Lydia and I ran forward.

Of course, I was then the only one standing there when, five minutes in, the Crocotta started stalking the other two humans. Scott and Jackson had completely abandoned helping taking on the humans that had – somehow – injured all the wolves, who were healing slowly. Sure, one of the idiot humans were injured too, but the other one was perfectly fine and sneaking up behind one Erica, who was lying on the floor and bleeding heavily, waiting to heal. No way in hell was I letting him get the jump on Catwoman! _So_ , I ran towards him, tackling the guy to the side. For a moment I thought I had shocked him so much that he wouldn't do anything...

_WRONG!_

It took seconds for him to shove me off of him and scramble to his feet. As soon as I was standing something hard and fist like collided with my jaw. It hurt – _God_ did it hurt! – but I had had worse. It was rather sad that I could say that, but it was true. Running with werewolves did that. When I recovered from the initial shock of the impact, I turned back to face him. The thing was...I _knew_ him. He was Leon Crawford, the nineteen year old son of one the guys that worked with my dad. Seemed like he recognised me too.

"What the..." he started to mutter.

I know it's rude to punch someone in the nose when they're talking, but... _he punched me first_! I think we could _all_ look over the rudeness factor. Leon stumbled back, his back hitting the tree. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: _Stiles can fight? Since when?_ Well, truth is, I've always been able to. I used to take self defence when I was younger, my dad wanting me to know at least _a few_ moves just in case something happened. They had to stop once my ADHD was confirmed because of doctor's bills and meds. But I remembered a lot of what I was taught. Of course, whenever someone looked over, they always seemed to look over on the part where the person I was up against had the upper hand.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see Leon push off of the tree. Or the fact that he had a large stick in his head. So, you can imagine my surprise when said stick hit me round the back of the head. My ears rung from the collision, which gave Leon the chance to chicken leg, sending me to the ground, my back hitting the forest floor. I scrambled backwards, trying to find something to help haul me up as Leon followed me. As I pulled myself backwards, I waited for the inevitable fist to collide with my face.

But it never came.

When I looked up, I saw – a very _human_ – Derek throwing Leon towards his injured friend. The Alpha growled at the two, sending them running, before turning his attention back to the Crocotta. The half hyena half lioness stalked towards the red eyed wolf, trying to look threatening.

_Yeah, good luck! You pissed off an Alpha!_

When the Crocotta launched itself at Derek, he was read. Claws drawn and up, slicing through the soft part of its stomach, sliding through as easily as a knife through butter. Blood poured down Derek's arm and the forest floor as the Crocotta slide to the ground, Derek's claws dragging through its stomach as it went. By the time Derek had retracted his claws, his whole arm was covered with its blood, spots of it on his face, a pool of it was on the forest floor and the Crocotta's insides were spilling out of its lifeless body. Not a nice sight to be honest.

"Dude, you alright?" Scott asked, helping me up.

"Yeah, man, I'm good." I nodded, not making any fast movements.

"Oh, we would say you're more than good." a new voice chuckled. "Quite brilliant, I think."


	9. Hunter

All of us turned to the left. Standing there was a group of hunters... Oh sweet Jesus, this was not good. But surely they wouldn't do anything, there were humans here. Right? Oh, shit, we were going to die! Great, death was _just_ what I needed! Eugh! No! Not cool!

Derek was immediately between all of us and the hunters, but more specifically between _me_ and the hunters. But I couldn't help but to be interested in what they had said. And apparently, so was everyone else.

"What do you mean you thought he was 'quite brilliant'?" Danny asked, warily.

The hunter at the front of their group – a forty year old dude with a scar across his face, grey eyes and dirty blonde almost brown hair – grinned. He was average height, very muscley and very creepy. But not as creepy as the kid standing next to him – blonde, green eyes, tanned, roughly my height and age, slightly muscular, abs... Not that I was really looking at him. It was the smile on his face that creeped me out the most as he stared right at me.

"You're telling me you haven't noticed? No?" he chuckled. "Well, it seems young Stiles here knows how to handle himself in a fight. It looks to me that none of you really pay as much attention as he does."

"How do you know my name?" I demanded, yup that was what I was going with first.

"Well, it's hard not to when your, uh...'friends' here are calling you."

They were? What? When?! I glanced to my right, where the whole Pack was, eyeing them curiously. But none of them were looking at me. All of them were watching the hunters. Yeah, that was probably the best idea...

"You would do so much better with us, my boy." the same guy continued. "So, we're here to give you an offer. Leave this pack of mutts and join us."

"Or you die with them." a female standing behind him added.

So this had to be a dream, right?! This couldn't be happening. Could it? I mean, this never happened to me. _Ever_! This was _me_ we were talking about. Why would I ever be given this ultimatum? Who would _ever_ think I would agree?!

I didn't even notice as I took a step back, standing slightly behind Scott. I noticed that the wolves' eyes had started to glow and the humans of the Pack stand beside me.

"No? What a shame. Well, we'll give you some time to think about it, yes? Two weeks, then you give us your final answer." the guys said, before gesturing to the blonde kid next to him. "Of course if you change your mind before that you can always tell my son, Chase."

I'm telling you, the snort that escaped me wasn't my fault. I mean, seriously! What the hell?!

"Something funny, boy?" one of the other hunters growled.

"Yes, there is actually." I laughed. "First of all, when you run with werewolves, no other growl is scary, so don't even attempt it, pal. Second of all, Chase? Really? You do know that the meaning of that name is hunter or huntsman? Yeah, _really_ original, buddy."

Lydia elbowed my in the side. Thank God, otherwise I would have just kept talking.

"Two weeks, Stiles. Two weeks." the guy said, smiling.

And with that the group of them just...walked away.

"Can someone please explain what _just_ happened?" Jackson asked.

That was a damn good question!

* * *

It was times like these that I was glad that dad was out of town for work, even though it pained me to admit it. But as long as he didn't have to deal with all this shit, I was grateful. Not to mention that it meant that I wouldn't have to explain why I hadn't come home at all or until early hours of the morning.

I would admit, it was strange being back in the Hale house after everything that had happened... But it wasn't like I had a choice. I took to just sitting there on the floor, leaning back against the side of the couch, while the others yelled and panicked. Yeah, I know, I should be doing that too, but for some reason this didn't seem as bad as the whole Filius thing.

So, yeah, I sat there just fiddling with my phone. I jumped slightly as it started ringing, not that anyone else noticed. Hell, they didn't even notice me slip out of the living room and out of the house, to sit of the steps that led up to the front porch.

"Hey, dad." I said, answering the call. "Everything ok?"

" _Hi, kiddo. Look, I'm not going to make it home next week like I thought."_ dad's tired voice came. _"We're going to be here for at least three... You going to be alright?"_

"I'll be fine, old man. It's not like I've never been home alone before."

" _Stiles..."_

"I know, I know. I'll be fine. Now go be sheriff-y and awesome, like always."

" _I'll get back as soon as I can, I promise this time."_

"Ok, dad. See ya."

" _Bye."_

"Hey, dad!"

" _Yeah, son?"_

"Love you."

" _I love you too, Genim."_

Hanging up the phone, I sighed, leaning against the wall that bordered the stairs. I missed when dad had the time to just be at home. But since mom... Well, he used to work more to keep his mind off of it and then it was so he could keep money coming in. I never complained, not even when I was a kid. But it hurt, even if he was finding time to be at home more.

When I was eleven, a year after mom passed, I used to think dad was trying to avoid me. Like he blamed me too for what happened. I thought that for months. He set me straight when he heard me talking about it in my sleep one night. Since then, it just became this ache. I still had the fear of one day he could _not_ come back and I'd have to deal with losing him too, but know there was this dull ache that just... Never mind.

* * *

"Stiles?" a quiet voice came, a few minutes later.

"Hey, pup." I mumbled.

I didn't look up as Isaac sat next to me, on my right. Just continued to stare at the burnt grass. I honestly thought that this summer was going to be great. You know, Scott and I actually had a nice group of people to call friends... Obviously I was wrong. I sighed, putting my phone in my pocket, leaning against the wall that bordered the stairs leading to the front porch.

"You ok?" he asked, hesitantly.

"Define ok." I grumbled.

Instead of answering me, Isaac put his left hand on my right shoulder, applying a small amount of pressure.

For a long while, Isaac and I just sat there, quietly. Neither of us saying anything. Isaac was the best person to have around when you felt like shit. He always knew whether he needed to talk to get your mind of things or just sit there quietly and just...be there. The pup was good.

"Hey, Isaac?" I asked, after a while. "Why do you think I'm 'Pack mom'?"

For the first time since he had walked out of the house, I looked towards the tall Beta. He blushed and looked away, turning to look towards the forest on the right hand side of the house. I couldn't help but laugh... He really was just like a puppy sometimes.

"Because you are." he shrugged. "You look after us _all the time_ ; get yourself into trouble for us, even if it means you getting hurt; make us laugh and cheer us up; give helpful advice; stop us from turning in public, without the use of violence; you listen when we need you to; stick up for us; and for some unknown reason you seem to love us all, no matter how we treated you before all of this. That's only to name a few things."

"Ok... Right..." I coughed. "But why 'mom'?" I asked, again.

"Because Derek's dad, since he's Alpha."

I shook my head, slightly bewildered.

"Man, I would love to see inside your head, pup." I chuckled.

"That's another thing. You give us all nicknames." Isaac grinned.

"No I don't!"

"You do! Here, I'll say the name of someone in the Pack, and you tell me the nickname you have for them."

"Fine."

Isaac sat there for a moment, thinking about whom to go to first. I was going to win this argument, I always won arguments.

"Erica?" he started.

"Catwoman." I replied, instantly.

"Boyd?"

"Boyd-atron."

"Allison?"

"Ali-cat."

"Lydia?"

"Lyds."

"Scott?"

"Scotty boy."

"Jackson?"

"Jax."

"Danny?"

"Danny-o."

"Me?"

"Pup or Baby Wolf."

"I'm not a baby!"

"But you are the youngest..."

"No I'm not! You're the youngest!"

"Let me finish! _You_ are the youngest _wolf_."

"Oh."

"Ha!"

"Shut up! What about Derek?"

"Sourwolf, Mr Broody McAlpha, Mr Sour-grumpy-pants-wolf, Mr Alpha, Lord Sour-McGrumpy-wolf, Angry Pants, Red Eyes, Fuzzy and Fuzz Face."

Isaac's grin was smug as I finished recalling Derek's names. Damn it! Ok, maybe I lost _this_ argument. But, being the good sport I am, I just laughed and turned back to look forwards.

"Hey." I said, bumping the pup's shoulder.

"Hm?" Isaac replied.

"Thanks. For cheering me up."

"It's ok... _mom_."

I may or may not have wacked him on the arm before throwing an arm around his shoulders.

We really needed to deal with these hunters ASAP...


	10. Fluffy

The next day – Tuesday 10th July – I woke up on to the sound of voices. They were distant, so I didn't pay them any mind; instead I just got up and walked to the bathroom. As I walked into the room, I glanced in the mirror quickly. I backed up a couple of steps after I caught my reflection though, taking a good look.

"Well, fuck." I breathed.

The once faint dark circles under my eyes now looked purple; my hair was all over the place from where I had been sleeping and running my hands through it; I had scratches running down the left side of my neck; a bruised jaw and an aching head from where Leon Crawford had hit me. Yeah, probably a good thing that dad was out of town for work... I stared at my reflection for a little longer, before sighing and just going about what I had walked into the bathroom to do.

Back downstairs, I sat on the couch that I had woken up on, still hearing the distant voices. I just sat, in the living room, alone. Doing nothing. _Well_ , doing nothing _after_ I took my Adderall, of course. Sighing, I leant back into the cushions on the couch, lying back to stare at the ceiling.

_When did this all go so wrong? Why did this all go so wrong?_

Huffing slightly, I dragged the blanket – one I had put there myself – off of the back of the couch, chucking it over myself as I lay there. As I lay there, my mind started to wander. Yeah, even with Adderall that still happened. It always happened, especially when I was left to my own devices. Sometimes I couldn't even control what I thought about, just random memories or thoughts taking over and playing through my mind. Which is why I started thinking about this:

**_Friday, May 25_ ** **_th_ ** **_2001 _ **

_I recognise the place. I recognised the house and the trees...everything. I looked around, mainly focusing on the house that was surrounded by the hundreds of acres of woods. The house itself was large. It looked three stories high, but I knew better. Looking it from the front, it would look like any normal house, not too special and not to large... From the side? Well, it stretched quite far back, and don't even get me started on how far it went down for the basement...well, basements. The walls were made up of wooden planks, each corner of the house made of bricks, the same as part of the middle of the walls on the side of the house on both sides. Each floor was separated by a concrete ledge, the largest part being on the first one over the door, being held up by four pillars on the porch. Windows were equally spaced around the house, letting in enough light to brighten up the interior. The roof...the roof was flat, the edge before the concrete ledge surrounded by a metal fence of sorts. A small bump could be seen on top, a door that you walked through to get onto the roof. It was nice to go up onto that roof, to lie down and look up at the stars. I knew the exact place where blankets were kept hidden for the nights when people just wanted to...get away. The view was great too, if you wanted to just stand by the fence and look out on everything. There were gaps in the forest surrounding the house, and you could see the fields and rivers further out._

_I stood on the front porch as I watched as the five-almost-six year old version of me ran past, dragging an eleven – maybe twelve or thirteen, I couldn't tell – year old boy along with him – me? I recognised the boy, but I couldn't place a name to the face. I couldn't even remember where I was. But I knew the place..._

" _Come on..." the younger-me laughed, the name of the other kid becoming a garbled mess, distorting the sound so I couldn't make it out._

" _Genim, we have the whole weekend!" the pre-teen/teenager sighed, rolling his eye, grinning. "Slow down already."_

" _Buts always over so fast!"_

" _It's the summer, Gen; we can see each other loads more."_

" _But..."_

_I watched as the older boy placed his hand over younger-me's mouth. It was amazing how the five year old actually stopped talking, causing the older kid to laugh. I watched as the two of them stood there, by the front porch of the house. It was easy to tell that the kid was me – not just because of the name 'Genim'. I mean, the kid had the same: sticky out ears, goofy smile, face shape... Sure, back then I had grown my hair out, so covered my forehead and covered the back of my neck, but you could still see that it was me. And there may have been a Batman shirt being worn..._

_The older kid...now it was going to bug me, because I knew who he was. His black hair was pushed back and up slightly, seemingly gelled. He looked a little tanned, yet he was still pale. Faded forest green eyes brightened as he smiled, showing of perfectly white teeth. Now if only I could put a name to the face..._

_As the older kid took his hand away, I watched as both of them sat down on the porch, in the sun. While the elder lay down on the concrete, younger-me decided to sit next to him, cross legged facing his side. As the other closed his eyes, younger-me huffed before, slowly, stretching out a hand and prodding him in the face. Sure, it wasn't like full on painful poking, but it was annoying – apparently._

" _Genim," the older boy sighed, sitting up, amusement colouring his features. "What_ are _you doing?"_

" _Can you go fluffy?" was the reply._

_The kid had to do a double take before focusing back on little-me. He ended up glaring though, and that glare...it was just too familiar..._

" _What did I tell you about calling me that?" came the low growl._

" _But you_ is _! You_ is _fluffy!" little-me – and I can't believe I'm saying this – pouted. "_ Please _!"_

" _Why? Why do you like it so much? I just look like a freak."_

"Not _! I_ like _fluffy you. It's all...all...all_ fluffy _! Like a puppy!"_

" _I am_ not _a puppy!"_

" _You a werewolf, werewolves part of dog family. You a puppy."_

" _Why do you like it, Gen?"_

" _It part of you. I like you. You my friend."_

"You're his Mate!" _a voice from the inside called out._

" _Shut up, dad!" the other kid yelled. "Fine, but only because it's you."_

 _The younger-me practically jumped on the kid..._ _Wow, was I really that strange? The older boy seemed to relax as he gave into the hug, frown line on his forehead receding. The kid whispered something, something along the line of 'Well, if you want to see it, you have to left me go'. But of course, you told the younger me to do something, then he did the other – especially since I wasn't even on Adderall yet. But the other kid was a werewolf, so he found away to get little-me off of him._

_As soon as he had some space, the kid closed his eyes. He inhaled deeply and, as he let it out, he opened his eyes, slowly letting a bright yellow-gold colour overtake the faded forest green, his pupils shrinking. Fur started to grow on his arms, ears sharpening and claws growing. The fur that had sprouted started to spread quickly to his face. The last thing to change was his teeth, sharpening into fangs just as slowly. When all was said and done, the kids just sat there, looking down at the claws, frowning slightly. Mini-me? Yeah, well, one thing I had because of my ADHD was that I_ _had little or no sense of danger...so of course the other me would just crawl closer to a werewolf and get all up in his face._

" _Fluffy." mini-me whispered, grinning. "You so fluffy."_

_The elder kid looked like he was about to pull away, but froze when little-me's hand ended up in his hair. And, yeah, ok, I was right...he was like a puppy, since he decided to try and nuzzle into the little hand, causing the little-me to, well, giggle..._

**BACK TO: Tuesday, July 10** **th** **2012**

I was so engrossed in the memory running through my head that I didn't hear anyone coming. I didn't even take note of what I was doing. If I could only work out who that kid was and where it was all going on... It was all so familiar. It was just...

"Oh my God! _Stiles_!" I heard Lydia shriek.

I pretty much fell off of the couch, snapping out of the happy memory. Before I knew it I had someone grab my right wrist, pulling my arm towards them. A bit dazed, I blinked down at my arm, only seeing red covering it. Only when I saw it did it become painful.

"Ow." I breathed, frowning.

"Stiles, what the hell?" Boyd asked, standing somewhere to my left.

"Just leave it." Scott told them, crouching down in front of me. "You alright there, dude?"

"I-I think so?" I said, though it sounded more like a question than anything.

Next thing I knew, I was dragged up onto my feet and being taken up stairs.

* * *

Turned out Derek was the one that got me into the upstairs bathroom, Scott following close behind. I hadn't even realised that I had been scratching my arm while I was thinking, that never happened! It was probably left over anxiety from yesterday, I guess...

"Wanna talk about it?" Scott asked, as Derek was wrapping the white bandage around my arm.

"Nothing to talk about." I shrugged. "Didn't know I was doing it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I was thinking about something and didn't know what I was doing or who was coming near me. That's all."

"What were you thinking." Derek demanded, quietly but not growly, making it sound a little less like an actual question.

"Not important."

"Must be, if it got you to this to yourself."

"Look, it just confused me is all, ok?"

They both shut up then, just letting the silence stretch out. Scott stayed where he was, leaning against the doorframe, Derek stayed where he was, crouching in front of me as I sat on the side of the bath, as he finished wrapping the bandage and taking away the pain with his funky-wolfy-mojo.

"It hasn't happened this often in a while." Scott whispered after a minute.

"I know." I sighed, nodding. "Let's just be glad it isn't a panic attack."

"Stiles..."

"You and I both know it would be worse."

Scott just didn't argue, which was a first...but he knew that I was right.

* * *

I sat on the floor in the living room later that day, everyone taking their usual spots. Only this time, somehow, I found myself leaning back against the side of Derek's arm chair, knees drawn up, as he sat there. I sat there with a pad of blank paper in my lap, a pencil in my hand and a pencil sharpener and a rubber next to me. I didn't listen as they talked; just focused on drawing the scene the memory had finished on. I zoomed that last scene out a bit as I was drawing though, so I could fit the house into the picture too.

My mom used to draw and paint when I was a kid, and after a while I started to pick up a few things. Of course I never really started to draw until five years after she died... Only then did I pick up a pencil, grab a piece of paper and start drawing... Yeah, mom had a really big influence on me when she was still alive... She still did in fact.

I was too focused on drawing to even pay attention to the others, which, yeah, sounded bad... _But_ , you can understand, right? The only reason I knew that someone was talking to me was because Derek leaned over and tapped me on the head... And yes, there was lots of flailing.

"What?" I asked, looking around at all of them.

"We asked if you knew how you were supposed to talk to 'Chase'." Allison repeated.

I shrugged.

"The hell if I know." I told them, picking up the pencil I had dropped and turned back to the pad of paper in my lap. "Don't know him, don't want to. Besides, I'm not changing my mind; I'm not going with them."

"Stiles..." someone started.

"No. That's my decision. They want a fight, fine, bring it on. I'll happily give them a fight. But I am _not_ talking to that creepy kid, I am _not_ joining them and I am _not_ leaving you guys. _Ever_. I love you guys. You guys are family. End of discussion."

With that, I turned back to the drawing.

I completely missed the small smiles that they all shared.


	11. Hug On It?

It was decided during the meeting that we were all going to be staying at Derek's again. It was safer that way, just in case they knew where I lived. So, five minutes later, Scott had gone with me to my house so I could grab a few things, and in turn I went with him to his place. Scott did pretty much all of the talking, with me occasionally adding in an 'hmmm'... I could tell that he was worried I'd to the same to my left arm what I had done to my right, earlier that day. In the end, he had tried to get me involved in so many conversations that I had stopped keeping count, but to be honest I could barely remember what he had said...

By the time Scott and I arrived back at Derek's, the sun was starting to set and you could see the Sourwolf himself pacing in front of the living room window. It was strange how _they_ were more worried about this than I was... I mean, shouldn't I be freaking out too? Should I be panicking to the point where they're all telling me to calm the hell down? Huh...

Scott and I just grabbed our bags, when we were out of my Jeep, and walked slowly up to the house. I could feel Scott watching me, probably waiting for the freak out that they were all expecting to suddenly hit. To be honest, I think I was already out of being freaked out and panicky, what with what had gone on a few weeks prior. This seemed to be just a blip for us... Besides, we had the Argent's to help us. Well, that's _if_ we asked for their help... Anyway, I was too busy trying to figure out how I knew that kid and house. Well, obviously the house belonged to that other kid, so if I figured out whom he was I would know where the house was. But I still couldn't remember his name. But the face – the _eyes_ – looked _so_ familiar.

I was so engrossed with trying to figure out who they were that I didn't see the steps leading up to the front porch. I just kept walking, until I hit the stone steps and started to fall forwards. I yelped as I dropped my bag, arms flailing as I groped for something to grab onto. But someone ended up grabbing onto me. At first I thought it was Scott, but this person was too muscley.

"Careful there." Derek said, helping me stand up straight.

"Thanks." I muttered, nodding.

When I was standing, Derek didn't fully let go of me, leaving one hand on my shoulder. I looked down, starting to fiddle with the hem of my t-shirt – number eighty seven on Derek's list –, but Derek still didn't let go.

"Dude, you're really out of it today." Scott mused. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing." I replied, maybe just a little too quickly.

"Dude."

"I'm just...thinking. Don't worry."

"Don't worry! Dude, I'm your best friend!"

**_FLASHBACK to: Saturday, December 5_ ** **_th_ ** **_1998_ **

_"You my best friend." mini-me grinned, as he and the other kid lay in the grass._

_Instead of outside a house, this scene-memory-thing took place in the woods. The treetops blocked out the sun, only slithers sliding through the gaps in the leaves – which were almost the same colour as the other kids eyes._

_I really needed to remember his name!_

_"_ _Really? What about your friend Scott?" he asked, head turning in little-me's direction, frowning ever so slightly and sounding just a little bitter. "With the way you go on about him, I would have thought_ _he's_ _you're best friend."_

_Little-me sighed, kicking his legs out so he could push himself forward, until he was sitting up. The other kid sat up slowly, before leaning back against a rock close by, watching as the younger version of me sighed and turned to face him properly._

_"_ _He is. But he not like you. I know you longer." mini-me explained, arms flailing wildly. "_ You _my best friend."_

_"_ _Logic of a three year old." the other kid laughed._

_He grinned, pushing little-me gently as he sat down. Little-me grinned as he jumped on the other kid's back when he was sitting down, arms around his neck as mini-me pushed him forward slightly. But the other kid was a werewolf, so he easily made it so younger-me was no longer behind him. But come on, even now I'm stubborn! So, of course, little-me decided that he was having none of that, climbing back onto the other boy. Little-me kept persisting until the older boy gave up, but he was laughing the whole time._

_"_ _Hey, Genim." the kid said when he stopped laughing._

_"_ _Yeah, Der?" mini-me – oh Jesus Christ –_ giggled _. "Heh, that rhymed!"_

_"_ _Yeah... You're my best friend, too."_

_"Good. Or I be sad, me no wanna be sad. If I sad, then you sad. You sad not good. Me no like sad you. Like happy Der. Happy Der is good. No sa..."_

_"Ok, ok, I get it, Gen."_

_I watched as the older boy placed his hand over younger-me's mouth. It still amazed me how he made a three year old me actually stop talking, causing the older kid to laugh. Like the last memory I had of him doing this, the older boy took his time taking his hand away._

_"I don't like you being sad either." the older kid continued. "So let's make a deal. We both stay happy, but if one of us starts being sad, then the other has to help cheer them up. Deal?"_

_"Deal!" mini-me grinned, nodding vigorously._

_"Hug on it?"_

_The last thing I saw was three-year-old-me launched himself as the other boy..._

**BACK TO: Tuesday, July 10th 2012**

_"...iles? Stiles!"_

The sound of someone shouting shook my out of the memory, dragging me back into the present. I blinked, shaking my head a little, trying to shake the dazed feeling. Once I realised where I was and who I was with, I sent a half-sheepish-half-apologetic smile to both Scott and Derek.

"Sorry, I just... Just remembered something." I mumbled. "Not important."

I looked down again, seeing my hand had made its way to my right forearm, rubbing at the bandage there. Huh, guess I did that when I daydreamed as well as when I was nervous or had to be quiet... At least this time I had a name, or a nickname. 'Der'. It could be short for Deryn or Dermot/Dermod or...

Or _Derek_.

_Holy shit!_


	12. A Family

Derek. _Derek_! I used to know _Derek_ when we were kids?! I used to know Derek's _family_?! Holy shit! How is that even possible? How could I not remember? I could I not recognise him? What happened? I forgot. He forgot. We _both_ forgot. How could we forget? His whole family knew we were Mates. Hell, now that I remembered, even my _mom_ knew we were Mates! Wait... _Mom_!

Mom knew about werewolves! What the actual fuck?! Mom knew about werewolves. I knew about werewolves. Dad _obviously didn't_ know about werewolves. I _forgot_ I knew about werewolves after... After mom died...

Mom had been friends with Talia Hale before she had even met dad. She found out about werewolves and promised to keep Talia's secret. She told me that when I asked when I was three. Every day, from the day I was born, whenever dad was at work, she would take me over to the Hale house. From the moment we met Derek and I had this 'bond' as mom would always say, never leaving each other alone. Sometimes I even stayed the night or two – when it _wasn't_ the full moon – but apparently I could get Derek to turn when I asked him too. When mom got _really_ ill, we had stopped seeing them. They knew why and they were fine with it – Cora would tell me at school. Then mom got even worse before I turned ten and dad was a wreck, and I was so busy focusing on them that I forgot to take my Adderall. Then mom died a few days after I turned ten, and I was just so...so numbed by that and still so focused on looking after dad that I still wasn't taking my Adderall... It was after my first panic attack a week after mom died, at school, that people realised the stress I had put onto myself and that I wasn't even taking my medication, lying to my dad that I had taken it because I thought I had.

Huh... That's why I couldn't remember... Lack of Adderall for a couple of months. And now? Now I was remembering little things from when we were kids, which were making me remember everything else, when really I should be focusing on the hunters trying to recruit me! Ok, so here was the panic everyone had been waiting for...

My breathing quickened as continued to stare at the ground, all of a sudden panicked and scared shitless! I mean, what the actual Hell?! And don't lie; you would _all_ act like this too, if you were me! The others – Isaac, Danny, Jackson, Lydia, Erica, Boyd and Allison – all had ran out at this point, not that I noticed they had appeared. No, I was too busy _not_ breathing! They all caught on quite quickly that I was having a _real_ panic attack. Scott was the only one that actually knew how to deal with one of my panic attacks, having witnessed them so many times before. The way my best friend just jumped in, it was as if this still happened every day, getting me to sit on the ground and try to calm me down.

* * *

"Why us?" I asked Scott, as the two of us sat on the front porch.

Everyone else had gone back inside after Scott had gotten me to start breathing again. They didn't want to, but for some reason they listened to me when I told them to just go inside and I was fine. Although, I'm pretty sure I heard that damn whine that I kept hearing when they were all – the wolves anyway – de-aged, and again I swear it was Derek! After all of this, I would definitely question him about that...

"What do you mean?" Scott replied, confused puppy head tilt in play.

I sighed, leaning back until I was lying on the concrete.

"Why us?" I repeated. "Why does it have to be all of us that have to deal with all the supernatural shit?"

"Stiles..." Scott started.

"I mean, sure, a little bit is fine. Healthy even...maybe. But why does it always have to be dumped here in Beacon Hills. I think we all deserve a fucking break! You think we'd all be left alone! But _no_ , every week, sometimes a month or two if we're lucky, we have to deal with something and risk someone being _killed_! You know, I didn't tell you guys this, even Lydia didn't know, but all of you could have _died_ if we didn't catch that fucking Filius and burn it's evil ass. All of you could have _died_ if I didn't find in within two weeks, and kill it! But do any of us get a little break? Nope, straight back into work! It's summer vacation, for crying out loud! We could have had a fucking Pack holiday! And don't give me that ' _really Stiles, a Pack holiday'_ disbelieving look, because I know for a _fact_ that a certain Beta was planning on bringing it up with McBroody Sourwolf."

"It was Isaac wasn't it."

It was either the way he said it, or the fact e guessed it so quickly, or maybe both that made me laugh. Slowly, I sat back up, still chuckling, shaking my head slightly.

"That does sound nice, though." Scott mused. "Having a holiday, all ten of us. Like a family, you know."

"It's what we've needed. All of us." I agreed. "Remember when we used to say that we only needed each other? Yeah, we were definitely wrong, dude. It's nice to finally to belong."

"I know... Stiles, if you need to talk...you know you can tell me. You can tell all of us. I know you're probably going to say you're used to handling things on your own, but you don't have to, man. You have us, a family. We want to help. Please don't push us away again, like you did after the Filius."

Instead of replying, I dragged my friend into a one our 'bro hugs', as we liked to call them. Scott was used to the suddenness of being pulled into one, so he wasn't too surprised this time. He didn't even fight me off like some people did/used to.

As we sat there, Scott repeated what he had just said, making sure I heard him. I nodded, telling him that I would let them know soon. That I would let them _all_ know soon. Just as soon as I got my head around it myself.


	13. For Now

The next day – Wednesday 11th July – I was sitting outside, in the shade of the tree. I rested back against the bark of the trunk with both a sketch pad and a writing pad on my lap, one on top of the other. The writing pad was currently on top, a pencil in my hand as I added to the list for Jackson's – belated – birthday party. Not only that, but I was also making plan's for Isaac's birthday, on the 25th July. No matter what happened, I had decided that Jackson's was going to be on the 15th, while Isaac's was on his actual birthday. I didn't care what happened on those days, we were going to celebrate, just the ten of us!

That was why I was outside. It was quite and calm, I was able to think and plan, left to my own devices. But, I wasn't so far away, so if I was needed then the Pack could easily get to me – or vice versa. There was a slight breeze, rustling the leaves as it drifted on by, slightly curling the pages of the paper I had in front of me. I remember one summer when mom and I, whenever dad was away at work, when I was five, we spent most days in this field, painting – or in my case drawing. We would just talk as we drew/painted, not about anything in particular...we just talked. She would let me go on and on for ages, never once telling me to be quiet. She would even _encourage_ me to talk.

Thinking about it, those days when we went to the field to paint...we were with people. To be exact, we were with one of my mom's best friends – Talia. Talia Hale, also known as Derek's mom. Derek used to sit next to me, giving me ideas on what I could draw, talking with me...just generally being awesome. His dad – Oliver – would sit there, making comments to our mom's about Derek and me being – yeah, you guessed it – 'Mates'...

I shook my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts and get back to making my list. I already had written down everything I needed, making sure to add on what I needed more of and what brands to get – my friends were picky about some things. Once that was out of the way, I placed the writing pad to the side, sharpening the pencil before putting the lead to the paper. For a moment, I just drew random lines on the page, not really thinking about what the hell I was drawing.

"Wow, you're good." an unfamiliar voice said.

My head snapped up instantly, getting ready in case I needed to fight or call for the others. Standing in front of me, blocking out the sun, was that kid from the group of hunters – the blonde with green eyes and tanned skin, was roughly my height and age, slightly muscular, possible-most-likely-abs. Or, as we were introduced to him as, Chase.

"What do you want?" I asked, cautiously, bringing the drawing pad closer to me.

"You're cute." he grinned.

I sighed, quietly. He was standing really close, leaning over me in a way that not only showed off the muscles – not as impressive as Derek's or Boyd's – but trapped me against the tree as well. It was times like these that I wished I had _someone_ out here with me.

"So, Stiles is an interesting name." Chase smiled, all perfectly white teeth.

"Nickname." I replied, shortly. "No one calls me by my real name; accept my dad, though he rarely does."

"What is it?"

I snorted, shaking my head. Yeah, like I was going to tell _him_! I hadn't even reminded Scott what it was, and he was my _best_ friend – unless you count younger me calling Derek his/my best friend, but you get the point.

Chase crouched down in front of me, not missing the way he ' _accidentally_ ' slid his hand down my arm as he lowered himself to the ground. Though he was now on the same level as me, he still made me feel boxed in. Like I was completely and utterly trapped, with nowhere to run. Sure, I was good at fighting my way out of things – something the Pack had questioned me greatly on – but this guy was a hunter. He trained for this kind of stuff. This was like putting a fighting rabbit against a lion. You could only _imagine_ the end results.

"Look, just tell me what you want." I demanded, trying to keep calm – at least on the outside.

"Right to the point, I like that in a guy." Chase grinned with a wink. "Landon, big boss guy, said you had two weeks to make your decision? You know, the forty year old dude with a scar across his face, grey eyes and dirty blonde almost brown hair; average height, very muscley? Yeah, he wanted me to...check up on you."

I didn't miss the look he gave me, or how he slowly looked me up and down – as best he could while I was sitting against a tree. Well, at least I had another name – _Landon._ I shuffled awkwardly, just _wishing_ to get this creep away for me...but I think he took my discomfort to mean something else, if the way he moved closer told me anything. It was just a little bit closer, but it was enough to unnerve me even move. If the look in his eyes told me anything it was _definitely not_ discomfort he saw with my shuffling... Slowly, he started to move in closer and closer, slightly tilting his head.

"I'm still not interested." I told him, plainly, surprised with how my voice stayed steady even though I was freaking out on the inside. "I'm staying with my Pack, now shove off."

"You sure, you could do so much better?" Chase asked, still grinning as he moved back slightly, his right hand moving from his side to rest on my left knee.

I glared at the offending appendage, willing it to get off of me. I didn't move though. I knew that if I did he would just grab me, and I _really_ didn't want that. I did want this creep off and away from me, ASAP! His right forefinger lazily started tracing random patterns on my knee cap, subtly – well, not really, I noticed it after all – getting higher and higher, tailing the patterns of my knee and onto my thigh. Steadily he moved his trail higher and higher. All the while, still looking at me with that same heated look in his eyes, slowly moving forwards again. But I didn't let him get far.

"Stop touching me and piss the hell off." I growled. "I'm staying with them."

"For now. You'll change your mind, I know you will." he laughed, removing his hand slowly, sliding it down my thigh and over my knee, while standing up. "See you later, babe."

With one last wink, he was off.

"Don't call me that, asshole!" I yelled after him.

All that got me was another bust of laughter, as he disappeared into the forest.


	14. Conversations

A minute after Chase had left; I pushed myself up off of the ground after grabbing my things and near enough ran inside. He was creepy and it scared and just _no_! I dropped all the notebooks I had onto the coffee table before falling back onto the couch, curling up into the left side. You would think being friends with six werewolves would make you feel safe, right? Well, right about now, I felt far from it!

Derek was the first one to appear in the living room, his calm demeanour changing when he looked up at me. Within seconds he was sitting next to me, asking what was wrong, why my heart was beating so fast, why I looked so pale – paler than normal. I just shook my head, moving closer to him and, practically, burying myself into his side. Even if I hadn't figured this all out yet, it was still comforting knowing that Derek was there and that he cared. I liked it, even. I liked knowing that someone knew me probably as well as I did, better than most did. Hell, if I didn't like it why was I still wearing the pendant and leather bracelet with the triskele?! I liked the fact that someone who had known me for _almost_ twelve years of my life was still there – even if we hit a bump in the road after mom died.

It didn't take long until Derek wrapped his arms around me, bringing me closer, one hand running up and down my back. In fact, there wasn't even a pause before he did it. It was an instant reaction. It was like what he did when teaching me how to ride my bike without training wheels, like he did what I was almost six. Yeah, I remembered all of it now. All the things we used to do as kids, his family, his Pack, my mom taking me to see them all! _Everything_!

"Hey, Der?" I whispered, looking up a little to see his reaction to what I was going to say.

"Yeah, Stiles?" he whispered back.

Taking the moment to take a deep breath, I bit my lip before talking again.

"Aren't I still 'Gen' to you?" I asked, quietly, looking at him. "Am I still your best friend? Do you still think you look like a freak when you wolf out? Are you still bitter about how much I used to talk about Scott? Do you still not like seeing me sad, is that why you're keeping up the deal we hugged on when I was three and you were like nine or ten, back in nineteen ninety eight?"

Derek stared at me for a moment, expression completely blank. For a moment, I thought he was going to get up and leave. Ask me what the hell I was talking about. If I had gone completely mad. To not mention anything again because it was all just kids stuff. That he only did all that because my mom was friends with his family and he didn't want to get an earful if he was mean.

But he didn't. In fact, he hugged me closer.

"You were and are always my best friend. Yes, I do still think I look like a freak when I wolf out, but you've helped with that. I am still _a little_ bitter about the Scott talk." Derek muttered into my war. "I still _hate_ seeing you sad, and yes that's why I've kept the deal, once I remembered it anyway. And you will _always_ Gen to me."

I shuffled a little closer, hugging the wolf back, even burying my head into his shoulder.

"Yesterday, when you guys found me with my arm all bloody... I said I was thinking." I mumbled, voice muffled. "I thought of the summer of two thousand and one when I got you to turn. When you first said you thought you looked like a freak. When I called you a puppy. And yesterday, again, when Scott and I got back from my house, when I zoned out? I remembered that deal about cheering the other up if they get sad... That's when I realised the other kid I saw mini-me with was you, because I didn't know it at first. And then I remembered my mom being, like, best friends with your mom, and then I started to remember everything else... Which was why I had the panic attack..."

"I figured it out when I had woken up after being turned seventeen again." Derek told me, nodding. "It was hard not to remember... Then I remembered my dad saying you were my Mate, every single day, and then I remembered what I knew now about all of it. It was really easy to accept it...for me anyway."

* * *

For a long time, we sat in silence in the exact same position as when Derek and I had been talking. No one had walked in, which was when I remembered they were all out at the mall. It was just Derek and me in the house.

"I'm sorry I freaked out when you told me." I murmured, using my left hand to twist the pendant left and right and using my right hand to touch the triskele on the leather band. "And I'm sorry for running out and avoiding all of you. And thank you for all the notes and stuff."

I could just see Derek's smile from my position, as well as the small blush on his cheeks.

"It's fine. All of it." Derek mumbled. "And I meant every word I said."

"Even the song lyrics?" I chuckled, not being able to resist. "I Won't Give Up, Jason Mraz; I'm Yours, Jason Mraz – both of those my happy songs, by the way –; Just The Way You Are, Bruno Mars; I'll Be There For You, The Rembrandts; Can't Help Falling In Love, Elvis Presley?"

"Yes, even the song lyrics."

"Oh."

I felt more than saw Derek turn his head to face me, and I knew I was freaking blushing – damn it. But for some reason, I couldn't care.

"Even all those things you wrote in that book?" I asked, suddenly shyer.

"All one hundred of them." Derek replied, not pausing for a second. "Even all the ones I didn't mention."

"Is this all real, or am I in a coma making it all up?"

I looked up at Derek then, not missing the infamous Hale eye role.

"Ok, real." I muttered to myself, before speaking louder. "Good."

"Good?" Derek asked, sounding slightly hopeful.

"Yeah. I'm still trying to get my head around all of it, but I would be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about this since before this summer..."

Derek shifted. I thought for sure this time that he was going to leave. But he didn't. He turned towards me more, before tilting my head up so I was looking at him properly. I waited for him to say something, but it seemed like the wolf had something different planned.

Derek slowly leaned in, giving me plenty of time to move if I wanted to. But I didn't, in fact I even moved closer. The press of Derek's lips on mine was gentle and reassuring, sending my stomach flipping and heart stuttering – _God, I sounded like a girl!_ But at this moment, I couldn't care less. This wasn't like the two kisses before, it was neither rushed nor desperate nor a simple press of lips against lips. It was almost somewhere in the middle, a happy medium. It was the complete opposite of what you would think it would be like if you saw Derek – it wasn't rough, hard, fast, filthy – the _complete_ opposite. But it wasn't overly soft, gentle, slow, sweet. Again, it was in-between all of it. It made me smile a little, calming something inside of me, almost finding something I had been missing – not the kiss, but Derek himself. I guess, in a way I had been missing something, and I was going to stop this train of thought because I was sounding girly and sappy and mushy.

* * *

It was a little while later, both Derek and I in the same exact positions as before – I know, it amazed me that I could sit still for so long –, what happened outside with Chase. I knew he was going to flip out, which is exactly what happened... But I managed to, somewhat, calm him down.

He was pacing by the time the rest of the Pack came back, which prompted them into finding out what had happened with Chase. The girls were sitting with me within moments, the three of them furious, the guys standing there looking livid – not as much as Scott though. But none of them could beat Derek. Derek looked ready to murder the guy and anyone who stood in his way.

"Look, guys, I'm fine." I insisted.

"To hell you are!" Scott yelled. "We can tell when you're lying, Stiles!"

"What do you want me to say then?! That I'm freaking out?! That I'm fucking terrified?! Would that help?! Because it wouldn't! What's helping me is not letting it get to me and freaking out so much! That's what helped you get back to your actually ages, and it's what's going to help sort this out! There's no use fussing over it when there we need to be focused."

No one said anything. They all kept quit and stood still, looking at me slightly shocked.

* * *

"Stiles is right." Allison said after ten minutes of silence. "They know how we would react to this; they're trying to distract us. We need to focus."

"But we could use this to our advantage." Lydia added, hesitantly.

I turned to face her slightly, frowning a little. How could we use this to our advantage? How could we use anything Chase does to our advantage? Seeing the confusion on everyone's faces, Lydia sighed, rolling her eyes, before elaborating.

"Put this Chase guy in a false sense of security." Lydia explained. "Making him think you're interested, making them all think you're going to change your mind. That way they'll think it would be easier to get rid of us all, because they weakened the Pack. They won't be as prepared and they won't have as many weapons as they would otherwise. That way, we win."

"So you want Stiles to flirt back." Erica classified.

"Basically, yes."

"That could work."

"Of course it will!"

"And if it starts to get out of hand, one of us will be around."

"Exactly."

"Well, I'm in."

"I'm not!" I yelped.

Well I wasn't! Why the hell would I want to fucking _flirt_ with that creepy douche! I wouldn't be able to stop glaring or flinching or anything! He was a creepy fucker who I would gladly fight myself! I think they all pretty much got that...

"Stiles, just think about it." Erica said.

"I have, and I say: no!" I shrieked. "You weren't there, you don't know how creepy and freaky and just _no_ it is!"

"What about a vote?"

"A vote?! A vote?! You want to _vote_ on whether or not I do something I _do not_ want to do?! And I though this situation couldn't get any worse!"

Jumping up from the couch and grabbing my notepads and pencil, I sprinted up the stairs, going into the room I had hijacked for the stay.

* * *

Surprisingly, the room was the same time as the last time, the room next to Derek's own one. I didn't lock the door, remembering what happened the last time the door was locked. Instead I just closed in, chucking my stuff onto the floor next to my back and dropping onto the mattress.

This time, I had a proper look around the room, unlike the last time I was in here. The walls had been painted a white, with the one facing me having been painted black. It was quite spacious, warm and familiar. I was starting to wonder why, when I stopped and thought about what seemed to tie all of the things I had been remembering together. Derek. This used to be Derek's room when he was a kid, and the room Derek was in used to be his mom and dad's...

**_FLASHBACK – Friday, August 23_ ** **_rd_ ** **_2002_ **

" _I'm gunna get you, Gen!" Derek – thirteen, almost fourteen – laughed, as he chased me through the house, up the stairs._

_I headed towards the only room I really ever went into upstairs – Derek's room. But Derek knew that. That was why he herded me towards the stairs. What I liked, when we did this, was Derek never cheated by using his wolfy speed._

" _Come on then!" I giggled, stumbling into his room._

_I turned to face the door, my back to everything else, not watching where I was going. I backed up, further and further into the room, laughing even though I was out of breath. And then I was falling backwards, my back hitting the mattress of Derek's bed. It was then that Derek skidded into his room, leaping onto the bed, pinning me down._

" _Say it!" Derek grinned._

"Never _!" I yelled._

_And cue the tickle attack. A dirty, dirty tactic._

" _No... Der... Ha! Please..._ AH _!_ NO _, ha!" I laughed, trying to wriggle away._

 _But Derek, being a werewolf, was way stronger. He could keep me in one place_ and _tickle me all at the same time._

_Derek wouldn't let up, he just kept tickling me._

" _Say it! Say I'm a better werewolf than him!" Derek chuckled. "Say it and I'll stop."_

" _No!" I gasped._

_Derek doubled his efforts, not stopping for me to catch my breath. I wondered how long it would go on for when..._

" _Derek Oliver Hale, what are you doing?" Talia – Derek's mom asked, slightly amused._

" _He's attacking me! He's being a bad wolf!" I panted, breathing heavily._

" _Oh, sweetie. Derek, apologise to Stiles and get off of him."_

" _What?!" Derek shrieked._

" _Do it."_

_Talia's eyes flashed red a little, and I couldn't help but smirk._

" _Sorry, Gen." Derek grumbled, climbing off of me, sitting to my side instead._

" _It's ok." I grinned, hugging him. "Thank you, Talia."_

" _You're welcome, honey." Talia smiled. "Now, no more tickling."_

_Both of us nodded as she walked away, but Derek was still being his Sourwolf alter ego. So, I climbed onto him, until he looked me in the eyes, and hugged him. He could never stay mad when I was hugging him._

** END FLASHBACK – Back to Wednesday, 11th July 2012 **

I laughed at that one. I couldn't help it! Even at seven I was calling Derek wolf, albeit in my head. I forgot how much fun Derek and I used to have at kids, how we used to argue over silly little things that ended in tickle wars.

"What's so funny?" Derek's voice asked.

Sitting up and looking towards the door, I saw Derek standing with his back to the closed wood. I couldn't help but grin at him.

"I never did say it, did I?" I laughed.

"Say what?" Derek frowned.

"That you were a better werewolf than Remus Lupin."

Derek closed his eyes, laughing, before walking forwards to lie down on my left on the mattress.

"No, you just cheated by getting my mom involved." Derek chuckled.

"You cheated by tickling me!" I protested.

"Yeah, I guess I did."

Derek and I looked to each other, laughing again. It was unbelievable the number of times we laid like this as kids, side by side. Most nights, when I used to stay round, I would end up sleeping in Derek's bed, instead of the one Talia had made up for me.

But after a moment, Derek turned serious.

"I think you should go along with Lydia's plan." Derek said, quietly. "We'll all be here to help if something goes wrong."

"I can't." I whispered. "You weren't out there."

Derek nodded, going silent for a moment.

"Think about it?" Derek asked.

I thought for a minute before sighing and nodding, staring at the ceiling. I continued to stare at it until Derek took my hand. I looked first at our hands, lying entwined between us, and then to Derek, smiling a little.

I didn't even notice that I fell asleep.


	15. Morning

When I woke up the next morning – Thursday 12th July – I found myself wrapped up in something made of solid muscle, my back to whoever/whatever it was. I stayed as still as possible, not wanting to make any sudden movements, just in case that meant my very bloody death.

And then I remembered what happened the day before. How Derek came into the room and lay beside me. That thought alone made me relax, smiling a little. I still never took the pendant or the leather bracelet off...

I slowly turned to my left, which took a little longer, what with being tangled in the duvet and the fact that Derek's arm was thrown across me, pulling me in closer, but I got there in the end. As soon as I was face to face with Derek I noticed he was asleep. Like, properly asleep... He looked peaceful, younger. Less worried and stressed. Relaxed. It was a shame he didn't look like that more often. I shuffled closer towards his body heat, even with the summer sun warming up the room, just wanting to be closer, even if we still had a lot to talk about. And I couldn't help but gently press my lips to his, just because.

Derek stirred a little as I pulled back, his head subconsciously moving forwards. I bit my lip to stop from laughing and waking him up. But that didn't work. His eyes – _oh, those eyes_ – opened sleepily, making him look like a tired puppy. It didn't help that that was what he looked like when he yawned or that his hair was all ruffled. It was – and I have no issue saying this – adorable. I wished I could take a picture of the cuteness. So sue me if I couldn't help but lean forward and gently kiss his nose... Besides, the reaction was worth it... His nose twitched and his eyebrows furrowed, confused, while he was still waking up.

As soon as he remembered though, Derek smiled tiredly, pulling me in closer and holding me to him tighter. My face pressed against his chest a little, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Morning, Der." I whispered.

"Mornin', Gen." Derek yawned, shuffling closer – if that was even possible right now.

And, yeah, _maybe_ I went a little mushy then... I mean, he hadn't called me 'Gen' in years! And he was still yawning like a damn puppy! I buried my head in the space under his chin, pressing my face into his neck, shoulder and the pillow he was lying on.

This was actually really nice...

Even if it was just a tad too warm...

"Wanna stay here." I mumbled, voice muffled. "Don't wanna go downstairs."

Derek huffed a laugh, ruffling my hair slightly, just like he used to.

"Why not?" he asked, quietly.

"Because they're going to try get me to agree to Lydia's plan, and I don't want to have another run in with Chase if I go back outside." I whispered. "I'm perfectly fine with where I am right now."

* * *

But of course I couldn't stay there forever. I was eventually dragged downstairs – literally, dragged. But that was after Derek went and told them all to back off; probably using his Alpha-ness to make sure they did as he said. Not that it would work against Allison, Danny or Lydia. Then again, Allison and Danny would leave it anyway... Lydia would be the one still trying to convince me. I knew her heart was in the right place; don't get me wrong, I did... She just didn't seem to get how much I _didn't_ want to do this.

So, yeah, I was dragged downstairs.

I was sitting on the floor, leaning against the side of Derek's armchair, whilst everyone else was either in the kitchen, outside or sitting on the couches. I had my laptop with me, resting on my outstretched legs. For the first time in a long time – almost nine years now – I opened up a word document and just...started writing. It didn't take me long to come up with an idea, I mean my life was a story in itself! So I started writing. Right from the beginning.

I was never able to keep an idea going when I was younger, even after I started taking Adderall. But you never knew, maybe I could focus on this one.

I was keeping all names the same – wasn't like this was ever going to get published – that way it was just easier for me. Having to come up with names could be a real pain in the ass...

This was definitely a good way to get my mind off of things.

* * *

I was actually getting into this story, already writing eight pages by the time everyone walked in, still on the first chapter. I didn't look up as they all walked in and took their usual seats, talking about one thing or another. I just concentrated on my fingers moving across the keyboard, only just registering the slight movement of my head as I looked at the keys and my eyes flicked up at the screen every now and then.

At times I would stop all movement, thinking, tilting my head to the side, a habit that I seemed to have picked up from Isaac. It was when I had stopped; head tilted to the right a little as I thought, that a piece of paper – folded – appeared in front of my eyes. I blinked, jerking back a little at the unexpected appearance, looking up to see Derek holding it over the edge of his armchair, whilst listening to the rest of the Pack talking. Slowly, I took the small folded paper, bringing my hand back down onto my lap when I had grabbed hold of it, opening it quietly.

_Number 84!_ _**;)** _

And that was just cruel. Bringing up that book, knowing that the blood would rush to my face. I turned around a little, to look at the smirking sneaky wolf. I glared at him – not that it worked with a red face and a small smile – and stuck my tongue out at him childishly.

"Bad wolf, always cheating." I grumbled, turning back to my laptop. "Using dirty tactics, just like the tickling; not fair."

I could hear the slight puffs of air coming from behind me, something that I remembered as Derek trying not to laugh.

"Stiles, you ok?" Allison asked, looking over. "You seem a little red."

"Perfectly fine!" I replied, quickly. "Awesome. Great. Yeah, nothing wrong, totally nothing wrong."

My response had the desired effect, making it harder for Derek not to laugh – it was strange to think I could do that now, now that we both remembered knowing each other as kids.

"Derek, are _you_ ok?" Boyd queried, raising an eyebrow at the look of the Alpha.

Derek tried to school his features – failing horribly – nodding a little.

"Lying squishy weird faced wolf." I muttered, only loud enough for Derek to hear.

It was a good thing that only Derek heard, since he would be the only one who got it. It referenced to his fourteenth birthday back in 2002, when I was seven... It was a fun day.

But it broke the damn. I guess saying that reminded Derek of me screaming Happy Birthday, causing all the wolves to cringe. I guess it was a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment.

So, Derek, all red faced, was _grinning_ and _laughing_. Sure, we had all seen it when Derek was turned back into a seventeen year old – and I had seen it when we were both kids – but it was still strange seeing it now... Seeing Derek a little more open than before.

The looks on everyone else's faces were worth my embarrassment. They looked so shocked that I couldn't help but break down and laugh, forgetting everything that I had actually been worried about, forgetting everything that was going on. Only knowing right here, right now.

Soon, somehow, all of us were just sitting there chuckling away – the others probably laughing at the weirdness of the situation.

This was nice.

This was why I couldn't leave.

They were my family.


	16. Safe?

Saturday, 14th July – only a week and three _fucking_ days until the hunters would be back for an answer –, I was all but dragged out of the house by Lydia – much to Derek's disapproval. Once I saw where she was taking me, I tried to get away... But, _damn_ , she had a tight grip! Like, seriously, _ouch_!

I should have seen this coming, honestly. I could be so _stupid_ sometimes!

"You're being ridiculous, Stiles!" Lydia protested, continuing to drag me outside. "You can't stay in the house on a beautiful day like this!"

"I can and I will!" I yelled, voice an octave higher. "Lyds, let me go!"

"No!"

But, yeah, long story short, Lydia got me outside. Everyone else was further out than us. Well, everyone but Derek, who was standing in the doorway of the house and glaring – at least it wasn't aimed at me...

I kept trying to get away as she made me stand there, becoming more and more uncomfortable with the situation the longer I stood there... It was like I could _feel_ someone watching me.

"See, Stiles. You're safe." Lydia told me. "You're safe if we're here."

"No, Lydia." I whispered.

"But..."

"I said, no!"

I knew she was only trying to help, and I knew that somehow her plan would work. But I just _couldn't_...

Huffing, she dropped my wrist, making her way towards the others. But she was far from over.

Turning back towards the house, I saw Derek frowning slightly. I sent him a small smile hoping it would at least help... As soon as I saw that the smile was being returned, I started making my way towards him.

Of course, that was when my wrist was grabbed.

I jerked back, instantly trying to shake off whoever had hold of me. Derek couldn't see me; he had already disappeared into the house. I couldn't scream or shout, they had on hand covering my mouth.

"Let's go somewhere a little more private." Chase's voice sounded in a whisper, his lips brushing the shell of my ear.

The hand holding my wrist slithered around my torso, pinning my arms to my sides.

Let it be known that Stiles Stilinski does not go quietly when being kidnapped! No, he kicks and bites and tries so very hard for someone to hear him.

But it didn't look like any of them had heard me...

* * *

Chase dragged me deeper into the forest. We weren't that far out, so the Pack would still be able to hear me if I yelled, but Chase didn't seem to realise this.

He let me go, making me stumble from the momentum of me trying to push myself away, tumbling to the ground. I sliced my hands on the sharp twigs, dirt sliding under the cut, my blood dripping onto the forest floor.

I sat up, my back pressed against a tree – _great, just great_ – hand stinging. For a moment, Chase loomed over me, looking down at me with his face half in the shadows. It was so much creepier in real life than it was in the movies... But, in no time, he was kneeling in front of me, placing his right hand on my left thigh like he had on Wednesday eleventh.

I stared at the stationary claw, wishing I could burn holes in it with my eyes, just so I could burn the bastard. But, unfortunately, even I wasn't that awesome...

"Why do you keep fighting me, babe?" Chase asked with a small smile, placing his left hand on the side of my face.

Trying hard not flinch; I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Don't want the Pack knowing I'm going to leave, do I?" I lied, surprisingly calm, though I knew my heartbeat stuttered.

Thank God Chase didn't have supernatural hearing... And damn Lydia!

_Why was I even going through with her plan?!_

"You telling me you're tricking the wolves, babe?" Chase grinned, seeming pleased with my response, the hand on my thigh sliding a little higher, tightening slightly. "You're leaving them to join us?"

I nodded, slowly, not wanting to risk speaking at this moment. I kept my expression as 'innocent' as possible, something I was, apparently, good at.

Chase relaxed a little, running the thumb of his left hand over my cheek.

I clenched my sliced hand, keeping my thoughts on the pain and not on the fact that he was touching me. But then I pressed too hard, unclenching my fist as I winced. Chase pulled back a little, taking his left hand off of my face to take my cut hand. He took a handkerchief out of his pocket picking up a bottle of water that was next to him – I did not see that before – wetting the fabric before running it over my hand, getting rid of all the dirt and dried blood.

He kept eye contact with me the whole time, cold green eyes staring at me, pupils slightly dilated – the Pack owed me for this!

Once my hand was, relatively, clean and he had thrown the cloth to the side, Chase lifted it up slightly, pressing his lips against the cut. I fought back the urge to vomit, making a mental note to scrub my skin raw when I had a shower later.

"I'll see you some time next week, babe." Chase winked, dragging his hand down my leg as he stood up and left.

Yeah, I pretty much had a panic attack when I knew he was gone.

* * *

I don't actually remember how I got back into the house, or how I ended up in the room I had been using.

I don't know when Derek had joined me.

I don't remember if the rest of the Pack were ever in here.

All I knew was I was scared.

I was scared, but I was lying on that mattress with Derek pressed up against my back. He had taken the pain away from the cut on my hand and bandaged it up like he had my right arm after I scratched it so much it had bled.

I could tell that Derek was beyond pissed with what had happened, and I knew Lydia felt guilty as hell... I could tell that the rest of the Pack was worried...

But I couldn't really say anything right now; I didn't _want_ to say anything right now.

They all knew I had lied to Chase, they could all tell.

Now they could all tell why I was so reluctant in the first place.

But the damage had been done, and now I had dropped myself into this plan.

Great.


	17. Party?

The next day – Sunday 15th – I pretty much tried to act like nothing had happened, that yesterday hadn't happened.

They all tried to talk to me about it, but I always found a way to chance the subject. Especially when I convinced them all to get out of the house for a couple of hours. I mean, Jackson didn't know I was planning his belated birthday party for today... None of them – apart from Derek – knew.

So that was how I found myself decorating the house, with Derek, while the rest of the Pack was out somewhere in town.

Derek didn't make me talk about what happened though. He let me stay quiet about it, but he stayed close as we set everything up. I was perfectly fine with that... It was _reassuring_ having him close, even if my head was still swimming and trying to accept the fact that: _yes, I am an Alpha wolf's Mate and I have known him since I was born._

But I was getting there. Slowly but surely.

"Remember when we did this for Laura's eighteenth?" Derek asked as we finished putting the last banner up. "She gave us a list of what she wanted."

"She was so surprised that we got it right." I chuckled, quietly.

I was six, almost seven, at the time. Laura was so particular about what she wanted that she planned her own surprise party... It was quite funny, really. Some of the Hales/Hale Pack got a little fed up with it at one point... I just found it entertaining.

Even Cora was like that a little.

"I'm sorry I forgot." I whispered, looking down as I put the step ladder away, keeping my back to him. "It's just... With the stress after my mom died and forgetting to take my Adderall... I was lucky if I remembered if I had school."

Even though we had talked about a few things, this was the first time I brought up how I had forgotten.

It was embarrassing and, really, a poor excuse... But I figured Derek deserved some sort of explanation. Right? Of course he did. After everything that had happened, he needed a fucking explanation as to why I kind of went off the grid.

Because I kept my back to him, I didn't realise that Derek had moved closer.

I didn't realise, until his arms were wrapped around me from behind and his chin was resting on my shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault." he whispered. "I forgot too."

"But I forgot first." I argue, instantly leaning back into him.

This used to happen all the time when we were kids. Though it was usually followed by Derek lifting me up and spinning around fast enough for me to get dizzy on the first spin. I couldn't help but smile a little at that thought... I liked remembering these things.

Well, I liked remembering them _now_...

"I don't care." Derek mumbled. "Not your fault."

As soon as I opened my mouth to argue again, I was cut off by a low growl and being flipped around to face the Alpha wolf, my hands pushed against his chest.

"I mean it, Gen." he told me.

And, again, mushy feelings at him calling me that... I think he knew the affect it had and that's why he used it... Cheating wolf.

Sighing, I pressed my forehead into his chest – in-between my hands –, sighing a little and closing my eyes. Derek, keeping one arm wrapped around my waist, moved the other so his right hand was on the back of my neck.

* * *

Half an hour later, after absolutely everything had been set up, was when everyone came back to the house. Derek and I had left every room, except the living room and kitchen, clear of any and all decorations or any hints... It was more fun that way.

So, when they all walked into the living room, I was just glad that I had Isaac's camera in my hand. Their faces – Jackson's in particular – were too good not to get a picture of.

"I told you I would throw a belated birthday party for you." I shrugged when Jackson turned to me.

Thinking about it, that was probably why I was suddenly rammed into by the blonde.

"Thanks, Stiles." he mumbled, so quietly that I only just heard it.

"Hey, it's what moms do, right?" I chuckled, winking over at Isaac.

The two blonde Betas smirked, laughing slightly, while the others just smiled and shook their heads.

I decided that it was just easier to give in now and just let them refer to me as ' _Pack Mom_ ', even if it was a strange thing to call the dude younger than you...

"So, what first? Cake or presents?"

* * *

By the time all presents had been open – I found them all, thanks to Derek – and cake had been cut, the music was on, beer had been opened. Sure, we weren't legally allowed to drink yet but the majority of us were werewolves and couldn't get drunk, they never let us humans get drunk, and Derek was always the one to buy it, so it was fine.

Besides, no one needed to know.

Even though there were only ten of us, we all knew that was all we needed to have a good time. It was always great just having the Pack together, because we knew we could act in a way that we never could if my dad and Scott's mom were with us. We wouldn't be able to drink. We wouldn't be able to have the music up as loud as we did. We wouldn't be able to do most of the dance moves a few people – Erica – were so adamant on doing.

I mean, sure, we loved them both, we _all_ did. It was just...it was nice when we could just let go and not have to worry about how we look to those two.

The song changed as I leant against the wall, laughing at Danny and Scott trying to get Boyd to dance – it was _very_ entertaining. It took me only a second to realise that it was, in fact, a song from my collection – I put together a playlist of songs that we all liked...as well as some they didn't know, but I did... I couldn't help but nod my head along to the beat and sing along.

" _Say my name and his in the same breath_  
I dare you to say they taste the same  
Let the leaves fall off in the summer  
And let December glow in flames"

I Don't Care, by Fall Out Boy. I can't for the life of me remember how I found this song, I only remember listening to it and liking it.

" _Erase myself and let go_  
Start it over again in Mexico  
These friends, they don't love you  
They just love the hotel suites, now"

This was one of the many songs I would play on YouTube, just so I could dance around my room when no one was home. But by the look on Derek's face, from where he was talking with Jackson, I knew he had seen when I had danced to this before, during winter vacation.

" _I don't care what you think as long as it's about me_  
The best of us can find happiness in misery  
Said,  
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery"

Thinking of that, that was slightly embarrassing... Especially since this is one of those songs that gets your hips moving to the beat. Just like Erica, Lydia and Allison were doing now.

" _Oh take a chance, let your body get a tolerance_  
I'm not a chance, put a heat wave in your pants  
Pull a breath like another cigarette  
Pawnshop heart trading up (trading up)"

I sometimes wondered what people would think if they knew about some of the songs I listened to. I mean, sure, I listened to Jason Mraz and pop artists and stuff, but I wondered how people would react if they knew I listened to songs like this, to bands like Fall Out Boy. Or, maybe: Falling in Reverse, Marianas Trench, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Halestorm, AC/DC, Simple Plan and Get Scared.

" _I'm the oracle in my chest,_  
Let the guitar scream like a fascist  
Sweat it out, shut your mouth  
free love on the streets but  
in the alley it ain't that cheap, now"

Yeah, some people would think I was more of a freak than they already thought I was.

" _I don't care what you think as long as it's about me_  
The best of us can find happiness in misery  
Said,  
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery"

But with these guys? Well, I guess I would be ok with looking like a freak.

" _Said,  
I don't care just what you think  
as long as it's about me, you said  
I don't care just what you think  
as long as it's about me, I said  
I don't care (I don't care)  
Said, I don't care (I don't care)  
Said, I (I) don't (don't) care (care)  
I (I) don't (don't) care (no I don't)  
I don't care, (I said)  
I don't care, (I said)  
I (I) don't (don't) care (care)_  
 _I don't care what you think as long as it's about me_  
The best of us can find happiness in misery  
Said,  
I don't care what you think as long as it's about me  
The best of us can find happiness in misery"

I loved the extended note at the end of the song, before it just all cut off.

The next track came on – Sugar We're Goin' Down, by Fall Out Boy – when I looked up to find everyone looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You sing." Erica grinned. "When were you going to tell us?"

"Probably around the same time as letting it slip that he plays guitar and dances." Derek smirked.

" _What?!_ " everyone else yelled.

"Oh, crap." I breathed.


	18. Hoping

For the rest of that night and carrying on to the next day – Monday 16th – I was bugged by everyone to sing for them. I blamed Derek for making it worse since, not only did they want me to sing, they now wanted me to sing _whilst_ playing my guitar.

I hadn't done that in front of anybody – knowingly – in almost seven years.

Not that they really gave me a chance to tell them all that.

But, on Tuesday 17th, I finally had enough. They had all been following me around like the group of puppies they were, continuously bugging me. Since I had to stay at the house and I didn't exactly want to go outside, I was pretty much trapped. It wasn't fun.

So, I just turned around, somehow making them all stop talking without having to say a word.

"No." was the only thing I said before starting to walk away again.

I really didn't want to say why... All I wanted to do was say no and just leave it at that. Shouldn't there be this awesome way that they know that I don't want to talk about it, or do it? You know, like, super smell, so they can smell the fact I don't want to? Oh wait, they had that!

A bad thing, though, was that one of them had actually gone back to my house and brought my guitar back to the house. I saw it as I walked away from them all, sitting in the hallway.

I stopped as soon as I saw the case, just staring at it.

"Yeah, we thought we'd bring it here for you. You know, so it was here ready." Erica said from behind me.

I just stood there, blinking at it, standing there in the middle of the hallway.

My chest clenched as I looked at it, the familiar burn in my throat and stinging of my eyes popping up. I had gotten used to both of those feelings, having cried so much so far this summer... And, man, did I hate that.

I swallowed a few times whilst trying to blink away the pain.

"Don't touch it." I whispered, my voice cracking slightly. "No one, but me, touches it."

"Stiles..." Scott started.

"I mean it. _No. One. But. Me."_

I strode over to the case, picking it up – carefully – by the handle and walking away.

"Stiles?" Isaac asked, quietly.

I stopped on my way towards the kitchen, keeping my back to them all. Taking a breath, I decided to just tell them. And, besides, it was always easier to talk about this when I wasn't facing someone...sometimes...

"The last person I performed to, _knowingly_ , was my mom. The night before she died." I whispered. "I stopped playing my guitar completely, because it reminded me too much of her, and I haven't performed to anyone since then."

Then I just continued to walk away.

I was actually surprised at myself that I ended up outside.

* * *

I had gone through the back door – the one in the kitchen. I hadn't been on there since we burnt the Filius – and the hallucination of ten year old me – to fix the freaky stuff that had been going on.

I ran my hand over the material of the case, sighing a little as I stared down at it. I had only played my guitar once over the winter break and once during summer vacation... So, in the six years, two weeks and five days that my mom had been dead, I had played my guitar twice.

There was a time where I would love to do nothing _but_ play a guitar and sing... Music seemed to be the only thing I was able to concentrate on fully, to be honest. One summer, I had spent a whole day with a guitar, in the living room, just playing and playing. My mom had to, literally, _force_ it out of my hands so I would eat and stuff...

I ran a hand through my hair at the memory. Seeing my mom's grin as she tried to get me into the kitchen, hearing her laugh as I tried to compromise... I knew that, if she was here, she would think it was stupid for me to have given up on performing in front of people, just because she wasn't here. But she was always there when I showed someone the song I had just finished learning, or the one I had just made up. She was always there to encourage me, to cheer me on and support me. What she told me was always so genuine and sincere, instead of forced like some comments other people gave to me.

With great effort, I forced myself to reach out and open the case, pulling the guitar into place, putting the strap over my neck and shoulder. I grabbed my capo this time, placing it on the third threat, before taking hold of my pick. Taking a breath, I just started to play.

" _You showed him all the best of you_  
But I'm afraid your best  
Wasn't good enough  
And know he never wanted you  
At least not the way  
You wanted yourself to be loved  
And you feel like you were a mistake  
He's not worth all those tears that won't go away"

Broken Angel, by Boyce Avenue... I always liked this song, from the moment I heard it.

" _I wish you could see that_  
Still you try to impress him  
But he never will listen  
Oh broken angel  
Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams  
Oh broken angel  
Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe"

I loved the emotion behind the lyrics. It was something that I always liked in songs, especially when the singer could covey them.

" _And now you've grown up_  
With this notion that you were to blame  
And you seem so strong sometimes  
But I know that you still feel the same  
As that little girl who shined like an angel  
Even after his lazy heart put you through hell"

I always loved what they did with the last line of that verse. It made so much more powerful.

" _I wish you could see that_  
Still you try to impress him  
But he never will listen  
Oh broken angel  
Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams?  
Oh broken angel  
Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe  
He would leave you alone  
And leave you so cold  
When you were his daughter  
But the blood in your veins  
As you carry his name  
Turns thinner than water  
You're just a broken angel"

I always liked the build up that came with the layering of instruments in this song.

" _And I promise that it's not your fault_  
It was never your fault  
And I promise that it's not your fault  
It was never your fault..."

And I liked how at this part the song just became so much softer.

" _Oh broken angel_  
Were you sad when he crushed all your dreams?  
Oh broken angel  
Inside you're dying 'cause you can't believe  
He would leave you alone  
And leave you so cold  
When you were his daughter  
But the blood in your veins  
As you carry his name  
Turns thinner than water  
You're just a broken angel"

But I also liked how it would just crescendo again.

" _And I promise that it's not your fault_  
It was never your fault  
And I promise that it's not your fault  
It was never your fault."

It was a nice song, and I liked it...

I knew, as soon as I finished, that they were standing behind me, waiting in the doorway. I just sighed, shaking my head a little.

"It's rude to stare, you know." I told them, keeping a tight hold of my guitar as I moved the capo and started strumming random chords. "Also rude not letting people know you're watching them.

Scott and Isaac sat down either side of me, both bumping me slightly with their shoulders. I just gave a small smile in return, continuing to strum the strings of my guitar lightly, as the fingers on my left hand moved to different chord shapes on their own.

I really hoped that everything turned out alright.


	19. Six Days

Six days.

I had six days until all those pain-in-the-ass-hunter-douches came back.

With Chase.

It was an understatement to say that I was freaking out, but I tried to stay calm. If not for me, but for the sake of my Pack. I could deal with six days.

Right?

Man, I hoped I was right. I just wanted this to be over, so we could all just move on with our lives and get back to doing what we do best. We didn't need some hunters causing shit!

There weren't many people in the house today. Allison and Lydia had persuaded Scott and Jackson to take them to Allison's house, seeing if Chris would lend us a hand. They had been gone since nine this morning...it was now two in the afternoon.

Boyd and Erica had taken to walking around the woods surrounding the house, probably to just get some peace from everything that had been going on lately. Wasn't surprising with everything that had been going on for the past eight days.

Forget that! Everything that had been going on since the start of the holidays!

Danny, Isaac, Derek and I were the only ones that were actually _in_ the house. But while Danny and Isaac were upstairs in Isaac's room – which was also known as Danny's room – Derek and I were downstairs in the kitchen.

I sat at the table, slumped in a chair with a mug of coffee in my hands, while Derek leaned against the counter.

It was my fault that everything was like this. It was my fault that the hunters were here and gave that ultimatum.

Maybe not directly, but it was definitely my fault.

Just as I was about to hit my head against the table, a folded piece of paper was slid in front of me. But by the time I looked up, Derek had turned his back to me. So, setting down the mug, I picked up the folded rectangle, reading the sentence that was in the handwriting I had become so familiar with as of late.

_**He's got a fine sense of humour when I'm feeling down.** _

And, shut up, he was not quoting that song at me! For those who don't know – shame on you if you don't – the line came from a song called _Crazy_ Love, performed by Jason Manns and Jensen Ackles. This particular line came from the section that Jensen Ackles – aka Dean Winchester off of Supernatural –sang! Of course, Derek had changed the personal pronoun, since the original was ' _she_ '...

Just as I was about to look up, another folded piece of paper was slid in front of me.

_**And I'm running to him when the sun goes down.** _

And here was the next line.

I couldn't help but start to smile a little at the two lines in front of me, starting to feel a little... _lighter_.

When the next piece of paper was slid in front of me, I already knew what it would say.

_**He takes away my trouble, he takes away my grief.** _

And that was something I wish I could do. For everyone in the Pack, especially Isaac and Derek... If I could do that, then maybe they could have been how they are now a lot sooner.

I went to look up again, but before I could, a hand was holding out – what I assumed was – the last note. So, smiling a little wider, I took and unfolded it, reading the last eleven words.

_**He takes away my heartache and I go right to sleep.** _

Standing up, coffee forgotten and the four notes placed on the kitchen table in order, I didn't look up.

No, instead, I walked the short distance between Derek and myself, and just...hugged him.

I had never felt the need to want to hug or be hugged after my mom died, the feeling of holding someone or someone holding me bringing back too many memories... But this summer had been the exception.

I had hugged and been hugged so many times that I was close to becoming dependant on it. Though it could also be a Pack thing. I mean, I remember Talia and Oliver explaining to me how Pack mates always had this need to want to be close, especially to their Alpha. They explained how in times of distress the Alpha was the one that Pack members always wanted to be close to, to have that feeling of security and to feel safe.

Of course, Olive had found a way to slip in a tiny detail about Mates... Apparently, at the beginning, once both parties had figured it out, Mates always had the subconscious need to touch and just know that their Mate is close by. In times of distress, their Mate was the only one that could calm them, and was a bonus if their Mate happened to be an Alpha, since it would just make the other feel a lot better a lot quicker.

And Oliver hadn't lied.

Oliver Hale, the great guy he was, never lied. And even though he was dead, he was still proving that fact to be true. Because right now, hugging Derek, I felt calmer.

I felt better.

I felt safe, knowing that Chase and those other hunters couldn't get to me while I was in here. Not while I was inside this house, in this kitchen, with Derek.

They couldn't get to me.

Nothing could.

And if something tried, well, there was a werewolf that was returning my hug just as tightly who would gladly rip something to shreds. And, to be honest, I wouldn't care if it just so happened to be one of those damn fucking hunters.

I knew it was a terrible thing to think, but they were threatening _my Pack_.

 _My family_.

And that didn't sit well with me.

So, if one of them came in here, I wouldn't care if Derek tore them into tiny little pieces. I mean, I think my dad would _gladly_ help hide the tiny parts, after we explained what had happened here.

I pushed those thoughts out of my head, knowing that I would just become even more of an idiot if I continued with those thoughts.

So, instead, I focused on the warmth of the werewolf in front of me, taking note of the way he had turned his head down to press his nose into my hair, lips pushing down and giving the slightest bit of pressure. In return, I tried to get closer, pressing my face harder into the joining of Derek's neck and shoulder, tightening my hold on him ever so slightly.

"You'll be fine." Derek whispered. "We'll all be fine."

The Alpha repeated those seven words over and over again, muttering them into my hair, as we stayed as we were.

And somehow, just a little, I started to think that, maybe...just _maybe_ , we _would_ all be fine.


	20. Memories

Thursday, July 19th 2012.

Five days left.

On July 24th, they would be here.

The _day_ before Isaac's seventeenth birthday, they were coming back here.

I was getting jumpier by the second, especially if I wasn't around someone in the back – mainly Derek.

Chris had said he was willing to come help us. Even said he would round up some of his hunter friends to drag along with him. He hadn't been so happy about Allison lying, but he decided to put that to one side to focus on the issue at hand.

So, at least we were gaining numbers and getting back up.

Someone had suggested getting my dad involved. Scott and I, simultaneously, refused, not letting anyone argue with us. Throughout our lives, dad had been the male role model in Scott's life, as well as mine, neither of us could stand to lose him... I especially couldn't lose my dad...not after everything that had happened with mom.

I remember when she went to the doctors...

_**FLASHBACK – Saturday, October 20** _ _**th** _ _**2001 – six year old Stiles** _

_Mommy hadn't been feeling well for a long while. She had been feeling tired a lot and she was always being sick... She kept saying she was ok, but daddy and I knew something was wrong. But mommy wouldn't go to the doctor. Daddy always asked her to, begged her to. But she just said she was fine, all the time. Mommy was losing a lot of weight, had pain in her tummy, didn't eat a lot, never really wanted to eat, found it hard to swallow and had this thing daddy called heartburn or indigestion that wouldn't go away._

_But still she said she was fine._

_Mommy kept telling me that she just had a little stomach bug, like I got when I'm sick. But even I knew this was different. I may have only been six, but I knew when my mommy or daddy didn't feel right. I knew when something was wrong. So, I made sure to help mommy more than I already did around the house. If I saw her lifting something, I would go help so she didn't hurt herself, I would help with more of the cleaning, I would try to keep calm and not get into trouble at school... I would do anything I could think of to make mommy get better quicker._

_It was only today – October 20th 2001 – that mommy finally agreed to go to the doctor. Daddy was happy that we would finally figure out what was wrong, but I could tell he was nervous. We all were. But I tried to keep calm for all of us; I just told him that everything would be fine. Daddy smiled and agreed with me, but I knew he was still scared that something could go wrong._

**(At the doctors)**

_Mommy and daddy wouldn't let me go into the room with them. Even the doctor thought it would be better if I stayed with one of the nurses instead, '_ just in case _'._ _I wanted to go in to, so I could know what was wrong... But I didn't want to make mommy worry, so I stayed outside._

_I sat on one of the chairs in the waiting room, with Wolfy sitting on my lap; I had been sitting there for a long time now. I wished Derek was here with me, he always knew what to say to make me feel better... Wolfy reminded me of Derek though, with his black fur. But Wolfy had red eyes. Not green or the yellow-gold like Derek's. But Wolfy still reminded me of Derek. Come to think of it, a lot of stuff reminded me of Derek. When I told Derek, his daddy had stuck his head into Derek's room and said it was because we were Mates. Oliver was always doing that and Derek would roll his eyes, because neither of us knew what that was and no one would tell us what it meant. But I was fine with not knowing, Derek was still my wolf._

_"Hey, do want to come play, sweetie?" a nurse asked, crouching in front of me._

_I just shook my head, holding Wolfy closer and tighter._

_"No. What do you want to do, sweetie?" she asked again._

_"Sit here." I whispered. "Wait until my mommy and daddy come out, so I go home. I want my mommy and daddy, and I want my Derek too."_

_"Well, I'm sure mommy and daddy will be out in a little bit and you can go home."_

_"But everything will be different."_

_"What do you mean, sweetie?"_

_I looked up, glancing at the woman in front of me. She had blonde hair and green eyes, but Derek's eyes were better. She was pretty, I guess, not as pretty as mommy though._

_"Mommy's ill." I whispered. "She says she's ok, but she's not. I'm not stupid; I know she's really sick. Daddy's scared that she won't get better, mommy's scared too but she won't say anything. I want to help, but I don't know what to do."_

_I sighed, leaning back in the chair. I could see that the lady in front of me was going to say something, but that was when the door opened. I saw mommy and daddy walking out of the room, shaking hands with the doctor. I slid out of the chair, still holding Wolfy close, running towards them. I went straight to mommy, hugging her from the side. I closed my eyes, burying my head into her shirt, clinging onto her as much as I could. To be honest, I was scared too. I didn't want anything to happen to my mommy. I wanted her to get better._

_"Hey, baby." mommy said, softly, picking me up – I could see it hurt her. "Ready to go home?"_

_"Yeah, we go home." I nodded. "You gunna be ok?"_

_"We'll see, baby. I have to have a few tests, see if they can find anything first. Then we'll know, ok?"_

_"Ok. You feeling ok?"_

_"I'm fine, baby. Come on, let's get you home."_

_Mommy held me a little tighter as she thanked to doctor again. I put my arms around her neck holding on as tight as I could, not wanting to let her go. I never wanted to let her go. I_ _couldn't_ _let her go._

_**END OF FLASHBACK –** _ **Back to** **Thursday, July 19** **th** **2012**

Dad told me, years later, that the doctors were suspicious. They thought it could be stomach cancer – which it was. But they just did tests.

I remember that, when she died in 2005, the told dad that they didn't catch it quick enough... I had never seen my dad so angry in his whole life... I stepped in when I saw him curling his right hand into a fist.

I also remember something that had happened back in 2003...

**_FLASHBACK – Friday, February 14_ ** **_th_ ** **_2003 – seven (almost eight) year old Stiles_ **

_I was lying next to me on my bed, like we usually did. Sometimes we'd start off in the separate beds the Hales had whenever I was around, but most of the time we just jumped straight into Derek's._

_Derek was lying there with both hands under his head, staring at the ceiling and talking about someone from school – probably his friends – but I couldn't listen properly. Mommy wasn't getting any better... She was either getting worse or staying the same and it was scary..._

_"Hey, Derek." I whispered, looking at Wolfy – who I had placed on my stomach._

_"Yeah, Gen?" he replied, turning his head to the right to look at me._

_"Do you think my mommy will get better?"_

_I continued to stare at Wolfy, not wanting to look at Derek right now... If I looked at Derek, I would start crying, and I didn't want to start crying._

_But that just made Derek worry even more. I didn't need to be a werewolf to know that._

_"Gen." I said, quietly. "Gen, look at me."_

_Hesitantly, after a few moments, I turned my head towards Derek._

_He looked worried and sad and I didn't like that! I hated when Derek felt like that! I hated it even more when it was because of me..._

_"Gen, your mom is one of the strongest people I know." Derek told me. "I think she's going to be fine."_

_"But what is she's not?" I asked, voice getting quieter._

_"Hey, I don't want you thinking like that, ok? And I don't think your mom or dad would want you to either."_

_"But..."_

_"No! Don't think like that. Be positive. Ok?"_

_I nodded slowly after a seconds pause, repeating a quite '_ Ok _'._ _Letting go of the breath he seemed to have been holding onto, Derek pulled me closer, hugging me tight._

_Keeping a tight hold of Wolfy in my left hand, I clung on to Derek with my right, burying my head into his neck. Derek just held me tighter against him, pulling the covers up until they were right under our chins._

_I fell asleep warm and surrounded by Derek... It made me happy._

_**END OF FLASHBACK –** _ **Back to** **Thursday, July 19** **th** **2012**

I was brought out of the memories by a hand running up and down my back.

My left hand – the one with the leather-triskelion-bracelet on – had been playing with the pendant around my neck, as I lay on the mattress in Derek's new – his mom and dad's old – room. All my stuff was still in the room next door, but we decided to sleep here.

I looked up from where I was lying on Derek's chest, to look up at aforementioned Alpha wolf. His head was tilted, tired eyes half lidded but still filled with confusion and a bit of worry.

"I miss my mom." I explained. "I miss _all_ of them."

I didn't have to explain who the ' _all_ ' was, knowing that Derek would know I meant his family as well.

And it was true, I missed them all.

Even Peter! But he was nice and fun and not psychotically crazy back then.

"I do to." Derek whispered, quietly, tightening his hold on me as I turned my face into his chest.

"I'm scared, Der." I muttered. "I don't want to lose anyone else."

I would swear until my dying day that the noise I heard – a sad whine – came from the wolf I was lying on. I would have laughed in any other situation...but not now, not this time.

"You won't." he said firmly, his hand stopping on the small of my back while the other came up to the back of my head.

"How do you know? I don't want any of you dead or hurt or..."

The smallest but of pressure on my back and head made me cut off the rest of my sentence with a little sigh.

_I just don't want any of them to get hurt because of me._

"Genim Alexander Stilinski, everyone will be fine." Derek told me, startling me slightly by using my full name. "We always are. Nothing will change that."

While I knew that was true, I wouldn't feel better until I saw it when this was all over.

* * *

Apparently, Derek and I were the first ones up, but I was the first one downstairs.

To take my mind off of things, I was making breakfast. It was something that required a lot of my attention – even after taking my Adderall – and it meant I couldn't let my attention to waver the slightest, unless I wanted to burn myself or something.

I decided that, just because it would make them all happy, I was going to make pancakes. No one could convince me otherwise.

I had to literally shoo Derek out of the kitchen when he caught on to what I was making... It always happened.

I mean, the first time I made pancakes for Scott when we were younger; I burnt some of them because I was having to keep him away from the ones I had already made.

The second time I made them for the Pack, most of the Betas – not Scott though, he had learnt his lesson by then – were gathered around me, waiting to be able to take one. Of course, Derek had come in and used his Alpha-ness to get them to back off, and decided he would stick around just in case they ' _came back_ '. This was back in 2011, when the Pack had actually come together.

Those two memories never failed to make me laugh.

* * *

By the time I placed the sixth – and last – plate of pancakes on the table, I was ready to just go to sleep again. All six plates had thirty five pancakes on them, meaning that all together there were two hundred and ten.

I already knew that: Allison and Lydia would eat two each; Danny and I would eat four each; all six wolves would eat thirty three each.

The pancakes I made were always rather thick and large, but they weren't as dense as they sounded. They always turned out to be light and fluffy. Mom taught me the best way to make them when I was six, showing me what to do so we could make them together for dad's birthday.

After she passed away, I didn't make them as much...but after I turned sixteen I started to make them again, for dad and my Pack.

While I waited for the others to wake up and get downstairs – because I wasn't letting Derek in before then –, I set about getting the coffee sorted. Since it was brewed and I knew how people liked it, I thought it was only logical that I got it ready for them.

Allison had it with cream; Boyd had it black, with sugar; Danny had it just black; Erica had it with cream and sugar; Isaac, Jackson and Scott actually didn't have coffee – they had hot chocolate, so I made that separately; Lydia had it in a way similar to a non fat half caf-triple Grande quarter sweet sugar free vanilla extra hot extra foamy caramel macchiato; Derek and me had it the same – in the style of a white chocolate mocha.

By the time all the cups were placed on the table – everyone sat in the same chair, every time – everyone else had gotten up. Derek stepped into the kitchen from where he had been waiting in the door way, taking his place at the head of the table and waiting for the rest of us to sit down.

They had all looked like they were zombies.

Of course, that changed when they saw the pancakes and drinks.

"I know, I'm awesome." I smiled, falling back into my chair – the one on Derek's right – and yawning, rubbing my eyes roughly. "Sit down, before everything goes cold."

That was all I needed to say.

Today I was going to try and forget the threat that was practically on our doorstep.


	21. Four To Go

Four days left – Friday, July 20th 2012.

Everyone was on edge, and nothing seemed to be able help any of us.

Isaac was jumpier than he had been ever since becoming a werewolf and being rid of his dad. Danny wasn't as happy. Boyd was more distant. Erica was quieter. Scott wasn't as smiley. Allison was training more, even more so since her dad came to the house to talk to us about everything that was going on. Lydia was snappier. Jackson was ruder. Derek...

Well, Derek had been doing everything he could to make sure everyone stayed as calm as they could... But he seemed to be focusing more on me than anyone else.

All I wanted to do was to be able to forget. Even just for a few seconds... But I couldn't even get that, not here.

Well, not _inside_ the house, that is.

This is why I was outside the house, on the porch, with my laptop and guitar. I mean, music and stories always seemed to take me away from whatever situation I was in, either taking me to a different place of engulfing me in a melody that I couldn't help but sing and dance to.

So why not use the music now?

I had been listening to quite a few, ranging from rock to pop to metal. I had listened to the music for a while before I wanted to listen to one more upbeat song.

Finding _Country Girl_ by _Luke Bryan_ straight away just happened to be a coincidence.

" _Hey girl, go on now_  
You know you've got everybody looking  
Got a little boom in my big truck  
Gonna open up the doors and turn it up  
Gonna stomp my boots in the Georgia mud  
Gonna watch you make me fall in love  
Get up on the hood of my daddy's tractor  
Up on the toolbox, it don't matter  
Down on the tailgate, girl, I can't wait  
To watch you do your thing"

I couldn't help singing along. It was a good song, with catchy lyrics and an upbeat melody.

" _Shake it for the young bucks sitting in the honky-tonks_  
For the rednecks rocking 'til the break of dawn  
The DJ spinning that country song  
Come on, come on, come on  
Shake it for the birds, shake it for the bees  
Shake it for the catfish swimming down deep in the creek  
For the crickets and the critters, and the squirrels  
Shake it to the moon, shake it for me girl  
Aw, country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me  
Country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me"

But singing wasn't enough. I had to get up and dance, just like I would if I was alone in my house.

" _Somebody's sweet little farmer's child_  
That got it in her blood to get a little wild  
Ponytail and a pretty smile  
Rope me in from a country mile  
So come on over here and get in my arms  
Spin me around this big ole barn  
Tangle me up like grandma's yarn  
Yeah, yeah, yeah"

Closing my eyes and smiling slightly, I continued to dance around in front of the porch, running a hand through my hair as I did so.

" _Shake it for the young bucks sitting in the honky-tonks_  
For the rednecks rocking 'til the break of dawn  
For the DJ spinning that country song  
Come on, come on, come on  
Shake it for the birds, shake it for the bees  
Shake it for the catfish swimming down deep in the creek  
For the crickets and the critters and the squirrels  
Shake it to the moon, shake it for me girl  
Country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me  
Country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me"

I remember, when I was younger, I used to dance around the living room with my mom, laughing and singing to whatever song came on... It was one of the – _many_ – best memories I had of her, before she had gotten ill.

" _Now dance, like a dandelion_  
In the wind on the hill underneath the pines  
Yeah, move like the river flows  
Feel the kick drum down deep in your toes  
All I wanna do is get to holding you  
And get to knowing you, and get to showing you  
And get to loving you 'fore the night is through  
Baby, you know what to do"

I remember finding this song only a few months back. I can't remember for the life of me, though, how I found it...

" _Shake it for the young bucks sitting in the honky-tonks_  
For the rednecks rocking 'til the break of dawn  
For the DJ spinning that country song  
Come on, come on, come on  
Shake it for the birds, shake it for the bees  
Shake it for the catfish swimming down deep in the creek  
For the crickets and the critters and the squirrels  
Shake it to the moon, shake it for me girl  
Aw, country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me  
Country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me  
Country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me  
Country girl, shake it for me  
Girl, shake it for me, girl, shake it for me."

As the song ended, I flung myself back onto the porch, staring straight up and getting my breath back, stopping the music from my laptop.

I smiled a little, even as the thoughts of what was going to happen in a few days came back into my mind. Music normally took me out of my mine for a long while, even after I stopped listening to it.

But today it appeared to be different.

Sighing, still breathing heavily, I pushed myself up until I was sitting, placing my head into my hands for a moment before grabbing my guitar from my side and guitar pick out of my pocket.

It only took me a moment to think of a song... Especially after I felt the notes in my pocket while getting my pick.

" _I can feel her heart beat from a thousand miles_  
And the heavens open every time she smiles  
And I'm running to her, that's where I belong  
I'm running to her like a river's song  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love"

This song... I had always liked it. _Jason Manns_ and _Jensen Ackles_ singing _Crazy Love_... It was a good song. It was made better by the fact Derek used them for his little notes the other day.

" _She's got a fine sense of humour when I'm feeling down_  
And I'm running to her when the sun goes down  
She takes away my trouble, she takes away my grief  
She takes away my heartache and I go right to sleep  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love"

I couldn't help but smile when I sang that part, singing it for how it was instead of changing the pronouns.

" _Yes I need her, in the daytime  
Yes I need her, in the night  
Yes I want to throw my arms around her  
Kiss her, hug her, and I kiss and hold her tight_  
 _When I'm returning from a long day_  
She give me some sweet lovin', it brightens up my day  
It makes me righteous, yes it makes me whole  
It makes me mellow right down to my soul  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love."

I sat in silence, letting the last chord ring out for a while, staring down at the strings.

"Well, aren't you full of surprises, babe." a voice from in front of me commented.

The sudden noise made me jump, falling forwards slightly and almost losing hold of my guitar.

But hands shot out to steady me.

"My dad wanted me to come check on you, babe." Chase grinned, referring to Landon as his father for the first time. "But, you know, I wanted to make sure you were ok."

Chase's hand slid from my shoulder, trailing down my arm.

Carefully, before he could reach it, I placed my guitar down on the porch, keeping my eyes on Chase, just to be careful.

The guy grinned at this, grabbing my hand as soon as nothing was in it and dragged me up off of the porch, until I collided with his chest.

"They home?" Chase asked, whispering quietly, placing his hands on my hips and my hands trapped against his chest.

"All went running." I replied, shaking my head, voice still not giving away my lies. "Left me here. Bastards still see me as the weak link in all of this; the one that'll get them killed."

It pained me that they could all hear me, even the humans... But I _had_ to say it; I _had_ to make Chase believe... Otherwise he would know something was wrong.

And my lies seemed to be working for once.

"Good." Chase grinned, still whispering, though I knew the wolves could hear him. "Means I get to do this without being interrupted."

With that, Chase pushed forward, roughly hitting my lips with his, trying to force his tongue inside.

Of course, Chase noticed that I wasn't doing anything willingly...

"What's wrong?" he breathed, pulling back slightly.

Before I replied, chocking down the feeling of wanting to throw up, I took a deep breath and cleared my throat.

"They'll pick up your scent on me." I explained, lying through my teeth. "They'll think you just came here, were too close and touched me, unless you do anything that will convince them otherwise."

Chase paused for a second, thinking things over. But it wasn't long before he was grinning.

"Smart, babe. Very smart." Chase beamed. "You'll make a great hunter. See you Tuesday."

And then, he was leaving.

I waited until I was sure he was gone before I fell back onto the porch, pushing myself up against the house and curling in on myself.

* * *

It had taken an hour, and practically being dragged by Derek, for me to actually go back into the house.

I felt sick.

I just wanted this all to be over...

I felt broken.

All summer I had felt broken. Things had started to get better when Derek started leaving the notes, even more so after I kissed him. But then the Crocotta came into the picture...

If it wasn't for that _thing_ then those hunters never would have seen me fight.

Those hunters would have never have given me the ultimatum and targeted _MY_ Pack.

Those hunters would have never sent Chase to ' _check_ ' on me.

I would never have had to _deal_ with Chase!

I felt broken and sick and _wrong_.

The only things keeping me together at the moment being: the Pack – aka my friends, aka my extended family – and Derek.

They were the only ones keeping me sane. Keeping me strong enough to keep pushing and hold on every time I had to face that arrogant creep.

It was the nine of them that I was doing it for.

No one else.

Instead of staying upstairs, I sat in the living room – after having a thorough shower and changing clothes – needing to be with the people I was fighting for.

So I sat there. With _MY_ Pack, in a pair of sweats and one of Derek's black t-shirts – he insisted and I didn't need to be told twice – curled up in Derek's armchair along with the aforementioned Alpha.

No one had said a thing.

No one wanted to break the silence.

But I felt like _I_ had to.

"I didn't mean it." I whispered, staring at my hands in my lap. "I didn't mean it."

In pretty much the next second, I was on the floor surrounded by the whole Pack, in-between Derek and Isaac.

If someone had told me two years ago that one day I would be involved with werewolves, taking on other supernatural big bads, and puppy piling? Yeah, I would have thought that person was as nutty as a Snickers bar...

But now?

Well, I couldn't have seen it going any other way.

Everyone was pressed together as tightly as possible, either pressing their backs or fronts into the people next to them. It was reassuring, knowing that they were still there.

"I love all you guys." I sighed, attempting to smile a little, feeling the stinging in my eyes and the tightness of my throat. "Like a lot. Even if you are assholes."

The others chuckled at the last part, and I felt Derek's arms tighten around me as he pressed his face into the back of my neck.

_Why couldn't it be over already?_


	22. Three.... Two.... One.... Me!

Three days left.

Everyone was jumping at the slightest noise from outside. Or inside. Or anywhere.

Everyone was snapping at each other... Sometimes getting angry and frustrated with themselves.

And, as always, it was my fault.

If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened. None of them would be in danger. None of them would be acting like this... It was because of me and the fact I attracted trouble and because I was just a complete fuck up.

It was _always_ my fault.

 _Everything_ was my fault.

Me being born – my fault.

Me having ADHD – my fault.

Mom getting ill – my fault.

Mom dying – my fault.

Forgetting the Hales; forgetting _Derek_ – my fault.

Not taking my Adderall until after I had a panic attack at school, with the exception that dad reminded me to take it on my tenth birthday – my fault.

Dad drinking more – my fault.

Dad having to work more – my fault.

Putting everyone I love in danger at some point – my fault.

Always attracting trouble – my fault.

Bringing this situation on my Pack – my fault.

Somehow, it was all my fault... And I knew that.

I had even told this to my mom... Well, kind of... I did the talk-to-the-sky-maybe-mom-can-hear-me thing that seventeen year old Derek had told me all about.

Of course, I had thought everyone was asleep when I did that... But, when I walked back into the house, I had a very teary Isaac standing right in front of me.

"It's not your fault." Isaac insisted, hiccupping slightly through the tears. "Nothing's your fault. Never your fault."

I didn't think.

I just rushed forward, pulling the pup into a hug, similar to when he had been a seven year old.

It was almost instinctual, the way I felt the need to try and provide some sort of comfort. Even if it did result in the pup crying even harder and, actually, completely breaking down myself.

" _Not_ your fault." Isaac kept repeating with a wobbly voice, clinging on to me as tight as he could, as I did the same. " _Not_ your fault."

We were both too wrapped up in our little cry-your-heart-out-hug-fest that we didn't realise that the rest of the Pack had, pretty much, _fell_ down the stairs in their haste to get to us.

One by one, the two man hug turned into a Pack standing-snuggle. Derek was the first to move, coming to stand directly behind me, Danny following to do the same with Isaac.

Soon, all ten of us were standing in the hallway by the front door – some crying, some fighting off the tears – hugging the crap out of each other. And, by the point the last person had joined, I had completely broken into tiny little breakable pieces. Pieces that I had no idea if they could be put back together again.

But I knew they'd all try.

That _Derek_ would try.

* * *

Two days left.

I avoided everyone.

I couldn't stand to look at them and know that there was a possibility that I may never see some of them again.

I had been through that once already, watching as someone died and not being able to do anything about it. I had already watched that with my mom...I couldn't do that again.

Even though it pained me to stay away from them, it was the best thing to do right now.

So, instead of being around my Pack, I had walked a short distance away from the house, though close enough that if anything went wrong the Pack would be there quicker than Speedy Gonzales on a sugar/caffeine rush.

I was in the same part of the woods where the memory of Derek and I agreeing on the 'one-of-us-sad-the-other-hugs' thing took place. I lay down in, pretty much, the exact same place as the younger version of me had, staring up at the canopy of leaves, seeing the sun slowly spilling through the gaps.

I reminded me of a day when we went to a place not far from here – still in the woods. It was a nice day actually...

**_FLASHBACK: Monday, May 31st 1999 – Derek POV_ **

_I woke up, smiling, when I realised what day it was. I pretty much jumped out of bed, quickly brushed my teeth and pulled on the first lot of clothes I pulled out of my wardrobe, before racing downstairs. Everyone else was already awake, eating breakfast... I just ran straight past them, heading for the door. Pulling on my sneakers and grabbing a jacket I went to sit on the front porch to wait._

_It wasn't my fault I was excited. I mean, it wasn't every day that we had a picnic, especially with friends outside of the Pack! Especially friends as good as these ones! Yeah, I know, kind of strange that a ten-almost-eleven year old boy is excited about going on a_ _picnic_ _, but it was going to be fun! Well..._ _one_ _person in particular is going to_ _make_ _it fun for me. Just like they do every time they're round. Is it obvious that I'm talking about Genim – or as some people call him, Stiles? I didn't like people calling him Stiles...it didn't sound right. Claudia, mom and me were the only ones left that actually called him Genim anymore, but I was the only one allowed to call him '_ Gen _'. Like he was the only one allowed to call me '_ Der _'._

_So, yeah, I was excited. So, I sat there on the front porch, waiting for Claudia to pull up in front of the house. I was not going to move from this spot until they arrived._

_**(Ten minutes later)** _

_"Dad, can't you put the camera away?!" I complained, turning my back on my father._

_Honestly, I loved the guy, but he was so damn annoying with that stupid thing!_

_"Come on, Derek, just turn around." dad laughed._

_"Eugh! Mom! Tell dad to stop it!" I groaned._

_All I heard was mom laughing, before she grabbed me from behind, hugging me close, dragging me up to my feet as she turned me to face dad. Damn tag team! It was only seconds before Laura and Cora bounded over, helping mom restrain me as dad tried to film me. Honestly, they had collected enough footage of me over the – almost – eleven years I had been alive, they didn't need any more! Besides, why did we need to bring the camera if we were just going to a nearby field or having a picnic, with Claudia and Genim?_

_Speaking of, it was then I heard the sound of Claudia's car. The soft rumble of the engine distracted them all enough for me to escape. I ran towards the car as it started to pull up, diving behind Claudia as she stepped out of the vehicle._

_"Hello to you too, Derek." Claudia laughed._

_I liked Claudia; she was a nice woman, always smiling. She was smart and bubbly; I was glad she and my mom were friends._

_"Hi." I panted. "They're trying to film me, again."_

_"Well, that doesn't sound too bad." she smiled._

_"Have you met my family?!"_

_Claudia just continued to laugh, putting her arm around me and giving me a small hug. It wasn't long after she let go that I felt something clinging to my leg. I grinned as I lifted up the almost-four-but-still-three year old kid._

_"Hey, G-man." I said._

_"Hi, Der!" Genim beamed. "Der, where we goin' again? I forget."_

_"You forgot? How could you forget, I thought you were intelligent?"_

_"I am! My head's just gone all funny..."_

_I frowned, watching as he rubbed a fist over his forehead, biting his lip and frowning._

_"Again, baby?" Claudia frowned. "Ok, I'll call the doctor later; see if we can sort this out."_

_"No! No doctor!" Genim cried, attempting to hide himself by burying his head in my neck, still holding tight to Wolfy._

_He pretty much chanted that over and over, his voice muffled by my shoulder. I had never seen him like this before..._

_"Last time he went, he had to have a blood test." Claudia explained, quietly. "Still scared to go back."_

_She ran a hand over Genim's head, trying to get him to calm down... Didn't work. He was still mumbling how he didn't want to go, how he wouldn't go. I just hugged him closer, wanting to overwrite the scent of panic and fear that was coming off of him. I heard a noise very closer to a whimper come from him, only making me hug him tighter. I didn't like when people were upset, especially family or friends. But it was worse when it came to Genim. It was like this ache that never went away until I knew he was happy again._

_"Hey, it's ok." I whispered. "When you go, I'll come with you. Yeah?"_

_The endless saying of '_ _No! No doctor!_ _' stopped then, giving way to the small nodded._

_At least he was calmer now._

_**(At the field) ** _

_I liked the field. It was peaceful. Well, until you put the Pack and Genim in it – Claudia wasn't too loud. I mean, the Pack was huge: mom, dad, Laura, Cora, uncle Peter, Jonas (human), Layla (human), aunt Silvia (wolf), uncle James (wolf), cousin Simon (wolf), Alexandra (human), Nathan (human) and me. Thirteen of us, plus Claudia and Genim...that made for a noisy field. But it was just too hard to be annoyed when you had a hyperactive three-almost-four year old running around and dragging you in every direction possible!_

_"Aren't you tired?" I laughed, as Genim dragged me towards the lake._

_"Nu uh!" he giggled. "Come on, Der!"_

_Rolling my eyes, I lifted the kid up, moving him around until he was on my back._

_"Hold on tight." I grinned, before running towards the water. "And dad, turn of that damn camera!"_

_"_ _Never!"_ _dad yelled after me._

_I rolled my eyes as Genim giggled, doing as I said and holding on tight, Wolfy being gripped in his right hand. All I could hear was the sound of Genim's laughter and the wind rushing past my face. I loved the feel of the wind as I ran, especially on a full moon night. It was one of those things that made feel calm, that helped me centre myself._

_I slowed down as we neared the edge of the water. Even though Genim always held on tight, like I said, he always found a way to fly into the water whenever I stopped. Stopping slowly was the only way to make sure he would stay safe and dry. Besides, he would probably hurt himself and cry... I didn't like it when he cried..._

_When I finally stopped, Genim practically jumped off of my back and ran further towards the water. He stopped a foot in front of it, dropping down – literally – to sit at the edge and throw stones at the blue looking liquid. Shaking my head, I walked over, sitting next to him. Every time we came to this particular field, this is what we always ended up doing. While everyone else was playing or talking or whatever, Genim and I were always sitting in this exact spot by the lake. I always looked forward to these days._

_**END OF FLASHBACK – Back to:** _ **Sunday, July 22** **nd** **2012 – Stiles' POV**

Those were the simple days.

The days where we didn't have to worry about it.

The days when everything was right and no one was hurt.

The days when I _remembered_.

The days where I didn't have to worry about anything like this.

_Man, I want back my ignorance and bliss._

Of course, I didn't realise how long I had been in my head for since, the next thing I knew, someone – _Derek_ – was lying next to me.

I scrunched my eyes up as much as I could, trying to keep my idea of not looking at anyone in the Pack – this included my now-boyfriend-Mate-person-who-I-still-needed-to-talk-to-about-all-this Alpha.

"Shutting us out will only make it worse, Gen." Derek whispered, going quieter as he said the nickname only he used for me. "You can't shut us out."

I clenched my eyes together tighter, going so far as to roll onto my side to stop from looking at him.

"I can't watch it again." I breathed out, closing my eyes tighter as I felt a familiar sting around the edges. "Don't want to. Can't do it. Never again."

I heard Derek move behind me, already anticipating what was coming next.

I seemed to know when Derek was behind me, even though he hadn't exactly touched me in any way shape or form. Well, yet. He just left it a minute or two before he actually reached out and placed his hand on me.

Derek turned me until I was on my back again, keeping his left hand on my right arm, as he placed his right hand on the side of my face.

"Neither can I." he said quietly, the words more than his tone making me open my eyes. "But it's because I _know_ nothing's going to happen, to _any_ of us, that keeps me going."

"How can you know?" I asked, voice cracking as my eyes started to sting more and throat started to close up. "How can you sound so sure?"

Derek just shrugged.

"Because I do." he replied, simply. "Because I know the Pack. Because I know _you_."

I didn't realise that I was crying – _damn, how many times this summer?!_ – until Derek moved his thumb against my cheek to get rid of the moisture.

"Because you protect us, like we protect you." Derek added. " _Nothing_ bad will happen. And if it does, I will personally provide the wolfsbane with which you can kill me with."

And, even though it shouldn't have, it did make me laugh a little...

* * *

One day left.

Tomorrow was Tuesday, 24th July 2012... The day _before_ Isaac's birthday, and also the day that the hunters came back.

As well as the Pack – so, ten of us – we had Chris and the hunters. That added another eight to our team.

_But was it enough? Was it enough to keep them safe?_

Knowing our – _my?_ – luck, probably not.

_Always the sceptic! Something right could happen you know!_

When has _anything_ right happened?

_Gaining the Pack, getting Derek, gaining all those lost memories. You know, things like that!_

But what's been in-between all of that? Death. Pain. Heartache. All things _bad_!

_But don't the good always out way the bad?_

Well, they're supposed to... Apparently, with me, it's the complete opposite. Have ADHD, mom dies, dad drinks more, panic attacks, general weirdness, sidekick – the Robin to _everyone's_ Batman –, punching bag, trouble magnet... All of that and more, for only three good things to come after it all? Bad seems to out way the good with me.

_Cynical, sceptic bastard!_

Man, I was going crazy... I was having a conversation with _myself_?!

All of this stress was getting to me.

I was a mental person.

Sighing, I shook my head as I turned back to the cup of tea – yeah, _tea_ – in my hand, sipping the sugary sweetness slowly – it was hot!

Everyone was asleep. And so they should be! I mean, it was 5:07am...

 _I_ should still be asleep.

But I couldn't.

Not knowing what was coming today.

Everyone had been training.

_Hard._

Preparing themselves for what was coming.

Since I wasn't a werewolf and couldn't be trusted with sharp and dangerous objects, I didn't train with them. I sat in for moral support.

But, according to freaky hunters and Chris and his guys, I didn't need it. Apparently I was quite a good fighter.

But I couldn't help but think that _someone_ was going to get hurt today. And if there was one thing I knew for certain, it was this:

"That someone _will_ be _me_!"


	23. Early Morning Phone Calls

Tuesday, 24th July 2012.

This was going to be a date I hated for the rest of my life, and nothing could stop me from feeling that way. Nothing could change my mind.

Even if, by some miracle, we got through it all, I would still hate this date for the rest of my life.

I was up before the others, just like I had been this whole summer, sneaking out of the room without waking Derek up. I was kind of surprised that I was able to get away while the Alpha wolf stayed asleep... But I wasn't about to complain. Derek was just as tired as me.

Anyway, like I said, I was able to sneak out of Derek's room.

I quickly got changed, going about my morning routine as fast as I could before grabbing my cell phone and heading down stairs.

It was early enough that everyone else was still fast asleep, so I didn't have to worry about anyone waking up. Well, unless Isaac had a nightmare, couldn't wake Danny up and found that I _wasn't_ in Derek's room.

I just had to hope that the pup didn't over hear anything, like last time...

It was times like these that I loved the fact that we re-built the house. There was nothing to squeak or creak to let them know where I was, nothing to give it away except my scent, and only the wolves could follow that.

It was times like these that I loved the fact that the coffee machine in the kitchen was, virtually, silent, only giving a faint click even finished.

But it was times like these that I wished I still had my mom around, or could _at least_ talk to her, face to face, just so she could tell me what to do. Or, tell me it would all be alright. Or, _something_! I always believed my mom when I was a kid, because she was _always_ right... I guess that was why she never told me that she would get better...

Sighing, I shook my head, curled up in Derek's armchair – because I was allowed to now – in the living room, with a cup of coffee in my hand and my phone sitting on the arm of the chair.

_5:39am. Dad will be up by now._

Biting my lip a little, I scrolled through my contacts until I landed on the first ' _D_ ' I came too, pressing the call button, before putting it on loud speaker and placing it back on the arm of the chair.

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

And rang...

I almost gave up and disconnected the call with how long it rang, thinking that dad was either still asleep, or busy. Knowing my luck, it was probably one of those two...

But then the ringing stopped...

" _Hey, buddy."_ dad's voice came. _"You doing alright over there?"_

"Yeah, dad. Everything's good." I smiled, softly. "I'm, uh... I'm actually back with the Pack, actually. Have been for the past two weeks."

" _That's great, son! I knew you'd work things out with them."_

"Yeah. And they've all been great, as always. How's the conference going?"

" _It's fine. Long, boring... I'm just glad I'm coming home next week."_

"So am I, dad."

And I was.

I wanted my dad back.

I wanted to hug him again.

I needed him back and know that everything with those hunters were over.

That everything was going to be alright.

I just _needed_ and _wanted_ my dad!

"Hey, dad. Did mom ever talk to you about a friend of hers called Talia?" I asked, slowly.

" _Yeah, she mentioned her a couple of times to me. Why?"_ dad replied.

Nodding, I took a deep breath before carrying on.

"Well, it turned out that Talia is Talia _Hale_. As in Derek's _mom_." I told him. "Mom knew about them being werewolves and she would take me to their house when you went to work... Derek and I have known each other since I was a baby, we were best friends _and_ we're Mates. Which is, basically, like being married I guessed, which is the bomb shell I mentioned when I first told you about what happened this summer. Derek's dad, Oliver, knew that we were, but Talia thought Derek was too young to show signs of having a Mate, but that's what we are. So, we're _kind of_ dating now, I guess... We still need to talk about it, but we're all trying to...get past everything else that's happened with the Filius. So, yeah, Derek and I actually knew each other when we were kids and I forgot all about knowing the Hales because I stopped taking my Adderall and stuff, and Derek didn't figure it out until he was turned seventeen again, and I didn't figure it out until I started having these flashes of memories from back then... Just thought I should let you know..."

Yeah, I know, I probably shouldn't have told dad this over the phone...

It should have been face to face, and _after_ Derek and I had figured this all out.

But I _had_ to tell him!

I _needed_ him to know!

On the other end of the line, there was silence.

I thought dad was going to get mad. Yell... But he didn't. Instead...

" _I_ told _Talia and your mother that Derek would look_ exactly _like his father when he was older!"_ dad laughed.

"Wh-What?!" I stuttered.

Dad just kept laughing.

" _Stiles, Oliver and I were friends in college. He and Talia set your mother and me up."_ he explained. _"When you were first born, I called Oliver to tell him and he and the_ whole _Hale Pack came to the hospital to meet you. Seeing how Derek was with you...well, I'm happy I have that moment recorded! I used to visit the Hales with you and your mother, until you turned three and I had to work more."_

And, yeah, wow...

Plot twist much?

" _I didn't recognise Derek after all these years, but I_ knew _he looked familiar! After your mother passed away, I was trying to drown my sorrows, that I couldn't place when I knew the name Hale when I read about the fire in the newspaper."_ dad carried on. _"When I get home, I'm talking to the pair of you about all this! And, while I'm not alright with the age difference, I knew right from the moment Derek first held you that I couldn't stop it. Even Oliver and_ Peter _knew."_

"I swear, you are the best dad ever." I breathed, chuckling slightly.

And I meant it.

My dad was the best guy in the world.

He was my favourite guy in the world – Derek being second, Scott third, Isaac and Jackson tied for fourth.

I would do _anything_ for my dad.

He and mom had been my role models in life and, even during the rough patch of mom dying, he still _tried_. Even if he didn't do the best, he still _tried_!

And I loved him!

" _That's because I have the greatest son ever."_ dad countered.

"I love you, dad..." I whispered. "I don't say it often. And I wish I did. Because I mean it. I love you."

" _I love you too, Genim. I will always love you. You're my buddy. My son. My little boy."_

"I know, dad... So, you're definitely coming home next week?"

" _Yeah. For sure, this time."_

"Good. Good. I'll, uh... I'll see you then, dad. I love you."

" _I love you too, Genim."_

Dad and I hung up at the same time.

I tried hard to not let the stinging in my eyes and the tightness in my throat take over... I just tried to keep myself together.

Tried to stay strong.

Tried to think positively.

But it was harder than it looked.

Sighing quietly to myself, I placed my phone on the table beside Derek's arm chair, sipping at my still-fucking-hot coffee, wrapping both hands around the mug.

I couldn't help but feel a little strange as I sat there, feeling as if something was about to happen.

I just put it down to nerves and being anxious about what was going to happen later on.

But it felt like more than that.

If felt like I was being _watched_...

It was then that a hand was placed on my shoulder.


	24. Author's Note

**Heyo! XD**

**So this is the end of this story, sad times :( But a 3-quel has been started XD To find it, please look on my profile, it will say in the summary** *3-quel to When You Were Young and I Won't Give Up*

 _ **THE 3-QUEL IS CALLED: **_ This Is Out Fate

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed/followed/favourited this story, I really appreciate it XD**

**You are all amazing awesome and I hope you all read the 3-quel :)**

**Hope I hear from you all soon :)**

_**THANK YOU EVERYONE!** _

**Author's Note:**

> Please review XD  
> Thanks XD


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